I am feeling a tad victimized, several members of the female species at work have taken to comparing one or two of my expensive shirts to tablecloths and a quilt, of course I am mortified, especially when you consider I spent good money on these shirts, there is a gang of 4 that seem to be leading on this, they have now introduced 'shirt watch' amongst themselves and have taken to emailing each other when they discover which shirt I am wearing, and they copy me into these emails, today we reached a nadir....the 4 have offered to take me shopping and help me select new shirts, now I have been shopping with women before, particularly a certain kiwi (who is possibly the most difficult woman I have ever come across with regard to shopping) and the thought of going with 4 of them at once is too terrifying to consider (shopping that is), so I have politely declined the offer. They are now threatening to kidnap me and force me, and they have come up with the wheeze of a shirt designing contest, with the top design being worn by me at our end of year party, it ain't happening, trust me!

Also had a diversity questionaire to complete yesterday, I wont mention who sent it to me because to single out my local fire brigade would frankly be wrong..... now the questions were a scream, had us in stitches at work, one of the best questions was how many of our staff are LGBT? apparently LBGT means Lesbian Bisexual Gay Transperson, now I have come across one or two lesbians (i was her experiment) bisexual (see previous answer) and gay (I seemed to attract them in my younger days I am told)members of society but I was confused by Transpersons..... it turns out that is the new name for transexuals.... firstly i blamed Mayor Ken, but then I thought, hang on there is a government department that collects statistics, The Office of National Statistics, so its their fault I wasted half a day collating this info, how do I know about the Office of National Statistics? My big brother works for them, so therefore it his fault.......

Yours in Astonishment
PS Isn't Friends Reunited great? :)
PPS I would also like to point out that I have never been propositioned by a transperson, as far as I am aware.....now where is my green pen?