I saw am awesome sight last night, Aussie fast bowler Brett Lee bowled 10 overs during the Aussies defeat last night, nothing exceptional about that, except he had a stress fracture in his left foot, the foot he piles all his weight on when bowling! now I have tried to bowl with a sore toe and that was sheer agony, yet to bowl with that type of injury takes some doing, and he was not just strolling up he was putting everything into it, incredible...

I have stayed up the last few nights watching the Boxing Day Test, from Melbourne, where Australia are 1-0 down in a series against a very good South Africa side, last night SA were 199-7 at early doors a full 198 runs behinds the Aussies 1st innings, thanks to a few factors the situation has deteriorated for the Aussie, firstly Brett Lee did not take the field, secondly a South African, J P Duminy plying in only his 2nd Test decided with the help of his lower order batsmen to do something about it, the Aussies looked clueless to stop Duminy and his bowlers picking off the runs, and wearing down the target to reach parity, so clueless where the Aussies, that at close of play South Africa were 459 all out, a stunning counter attack that leaves them 65 runs ahead of the limp looking Aussies, the Aussies are in serious trouble in this game, they have too many players out of form, Hayden for so long the man at 1st slip laughing like a drain at the misfortune of opposition batsmen seems to be wearing a more troubled look, the laughter is not there, the reason? the runs are not forthcoming, and he is fighting for his place in the Test Team, is the bullying opener coming to the end of the road? in his mid 30's I think that may just be the case. Mike Hussey known as Mr Cricket in OZ and known for scoring loads of runs now looks like he could not hit a cows arse with a banjo, Brett Lee's bowling is below par, and Mitchell Johnson is not quite the top bowler just yet, despite taking a shed load of wickets in the first test.
The trouble is Australia have been spoilt for so damn long in terms of World Class players, and 4 of the big uns have retired in the past 18 months, Justin Langer an absolute run machine, one of the greatest openers, Glenn McGrath a machine like bowler who loved to probe the corridor of uncertainty and one of the most consistent wicket takers ever, Adam Gilchrist, one of the best wicket keepers ever and a highly destructive batter, and finally Shane Warne, the greatest spinner ever (we dont count Murali, he is a chucker)? Now you take 4 world class players out of any team in a short space of time and you will undoubtedly struggle, previously when Australia where in trouble, one of these 4, would chip in with a top notch performance, whether it be Langer or Gilchrist with a century, McGrath with his pace or Warne with his hard to read mixture of wrong ungs, flippers or balls of the century, and they would emerge victorious as ever. That has all changed, the Aussies are looking very ordinary, sure they have players in the side who can raise a performance on any given day, but then so do South Africa, so do India and so do England.
So taking all that into account I am looking forward to this summers Ashes battle, I really do not think it will be as exciting as 2005, the nerve jangling excitement and pure tension of that amazing series will never be repeated, but what I think is that England will eek out revenge for their winter thrashing down under last winter, this Aussie team stripped of 4 world class players, with Hayden and Brett Lee struggling with their age I really do not think they can beat us, We have Pietersen playing well, Cook and Strauss looking solid, Freddie back to his best with both bat and ball, Stuart Broad a top notch bowler who will just get better and better. I dont think it will be a 5-0 job but maybe 2-1 to England, I personally cannot wait.

Whilst we are on the subject of cricket the Star Inn resumes practice in a few weeks, last season was our best and in the last few games we looked very very good, our bowling looks dangerous and our batting starting to look useful and our fielding at the back end of the season was inspirational, new players joined last year, including a balding rotund looking fella who seems vaguely familiar, and our young quicks started to look really menacing, our outgoing skipper at our AGM asked if they could ease up a bit next season in games, that was howled down by the rest of the team who love to see them tear into the opposition, although facing the two buggers in the nets is a seriously scary thing let me tell you!
So get ready for the aches and pains for days on end after training, the bruises the box shattering balls, bring it on I cannot wait!

Well thats Christmas done and dusted, Young Finch loves his Wii, even if I think there is a fault with PGA Golf!
Lunch was Roast Beef with all the trimmings, the young un had way too many presents and was spoilt rotten as usual by everyone.
The day was rounded off with a game on the Wii, the Kiwi was far too good on the bowling and was getting a bit carried away with her score, until I slaughtered it by a country mile.
Its a wquiet day here in Finch towers, Young Finch is away with his mother for the weekend, so its perfect peace here, and leaves me more time to work out how to beat him on all his new games!

The 12 Days of Christmas Cutbacks....

Effective immediately, the following economizing measures are being implemented in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” subsidiary:

1. The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance;

2. Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore, eliminated;

3. The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French;

4. The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked;

5. The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks, appear to be in order;

6. The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that, from now on, every goose it gets will be a good one;

7. The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes, thereby enhancing their outplacement;

8. As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching;

9. Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps;

10. Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant as we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year;

11. Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music, and no uniforms, will produce savings which will drop right to the bottom line;
Overall we can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney’s association seeking expansion to include the legal profession (”thirteen lawyers-a-suing”), a decision is pending.

Deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to remain competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number.

I am still stunned at winning the poker night! despite being rather drunk, had a shocking head ache all day yesterday but managed to shake it off before my babysitting duties, which went very well young Chris who is 5 thoroughly enjoyed his bedtime story, I gave him Peace At Last, it used to be Young Finch's favourite, Chris enjoyed the story which included noises and a fair bit of action from the story teller, the other 3 popped up to bed at 9, so we had a peaceful evening in front of the TV.
Easy day today, been working out recipes for my fudge, truffles and coconut ice, that will keep me amused Xmas Eve afternoon!

Blimey, guess who won the Poker last night? I say last night it was more like 4am this morning when a rather tired and emotional radio reporter clinched the hand that scooped the cash and the bloody shirt! Sadly this morning it dawned on me that maybe a bottle of red and an entire bottle of Bombay Sapphire are not the best things to demolish if you want to go shopping, I work up with an absolute stonker of a headache, and was very unsteady on the old pins, luckily the Nurofen and the bacon butties seemed to perk me up, so its an evening of babysitting duties this evening for me with the 3 Ellis young uns and Young Finch. Sunday I promise to behave!

Right thats the second interview done, all seemed to go pretty well, have to wait and see, would like to get it as its a major Museum, I don't miss the cash at NMM but would like to get back into museums, they are such fascinating places, especially this one that has the best record collection in the world (that may be a clue as to where it is), the money on this one is fantastic, and would put me on more than certain friends he he!

Waiting for a few Xmas presents to be delivered, they are due today or tomorrow so fingers crossed.. although luckily Dan's gift is well sorted! and I am sure he will be a very happy lad when he gets it.

Stayed up quite late last night and had some very thoughtful moments, reflecting back on the past year, not my best is my assessment on the personal front, made a few mistakes and have some regrets, but now feeling much more positive for next year. On the career front it was a step out and a step up! getting my qualification is without doubt my greatest achievement, although there were times when I thought I would never get it.

On the Radio front I stood my ground and refused to lower my standards, I may not be on the radio at the moment but rather that than lower myself to Gateways misguided standards, had the big interview and thought I had achieved a big break through but lost out to someone else who was an internal candidate, to be honest I have not listened to them so cannot make an assessment of if they are better than me, but I think I could have done it, and at least Denise Van Outen gave me a kiss and thought I was good (at radio that is, she never offered an opinion on the kissing front)! Had a great laugh filming Qi Test in November, and met up with Rufus Hound after his gig the other night, he is a very funny man, and slaughtered me again during his show, but we had a good chat after and it appears there will be more QI Test for me! Apparently the Production Team reckon get me well oiled and I am away!

For once I am actually looking forward to Xmas this year, the last few have been hard going as I was a bit of a mess (although last xmas eve I managed to have a rather drunken time with my nephew in Greenwich)! but this year should be good, and it will be nice to have Young Finch around, its the first time I have had him with me on Xmas Day in a while, I have a feeling he will be playing with something new most of Xmas day!

Its Poxy Shirt Poker Night this evening, absolutely no Whiskey will be consumed by me this evening, but I do have a bottle of Bombay Sapphire that will be given a damn good seeing to, so tomorrow should be rather quiet at home.

Second interview for the job today, so its a relaxed start to the day then off up to town. I am working right up to Xmas eve this year which is a pain, would much rather have the week off, but I h ave way too much work on at the moment.

Found a great shop the other day, selling bacon, sausages, its called the Giggling Pig, man alive what a name!

It has been bloody hard work being a Charlton for the past few years, and last nights result was desperately hard to take, leading 2-1 in the last seconds of injury time and yet Derby somehow score with virtually the last kick of the game.... poor young Finch was a wreck after the game, I have to admit I was celebrating what looked like a vital 3 points then wallop, the sucker punch left me cursing and swearing, and for a nano second I looked at the celebrating Derby fans and had some very dark thoughts about what I wanted to do to them! unless things pick up its going to be League One next season, still if that happens we may win something!

Definitely think I have Xmas cracked now which is a relief, although I don't seem to be able to muster up the excitement about it all now, now the young un is at that age, some of the magic has gone, still its an excuse to eat and drink way too much which I will not let pass by.

Once Xmas is over I have two things looming, first I am back in the Woolwich Gang Show for some reason, so thats every Sunday afternoon booked up til Easter, andof course in the new year Cricket nets start, its been good to give the knee a rest, but I am going to do some dieting after xmas and lose a bit of weight and I may take advantage of the local gym...

***STOP PRESS***

Looks like I will be coming to a radio near you real soon! details will follow.

It's been my first weekend in a while at home, and very relaxing it has been to! despite agreeing to babysit the godson's next Saturday whilst Mum and Dad go out on the razzle.
Did some serious shopping Friday, picked up the young Finch's Christmas present, man alive the wallet too a hit, and got some other pressies as well, so an expensive but fun afternoon was had running around Hammersmith. Young Finch himself has been an argumentative sod lately so been dealing with that one, which has included a grounding that went down well, many cries of "your so unfair", that fact that he is not yet a teenager has not stopped him going into full Kevin the teenager mode.

My brother and his wife have never forgiven me for buying my nephew many years ago a fully interactive helicopter that made noises, fired stuff and generally annoyed everyone, so each year their presents to Young Finch have been acts of revenge, we have had a mini orchestra, kazoo, mouth organ amongst other items, apparently they have something very good lined up this year, or so he told me Saturday! god help, the only saving grace is that I seem to manage to ensure these presents end up at his mothers, apparently Young Finch has decided whatever it is will stay here with us :(

Next Friday I will be attempting to win back my shirt which is now the winners shirt for poker, we reckon this Friday will be a late one as its Xmas, could be a very long night!

Amazed at Amazon #2

Amazed at Amazon

Pictures from Wales

Well the weekend was great fun the boys were in fine form and the alcohol flowed as usual, we had a very relaxed day Saturday with a nice walk, followed by a full xmas dinner with all the trimmings! Sunday we headed off to Symonds Yat for a drink and to look at the views which were awesome, then back home in time for young Finch to arrive home.
Monday was spent preparing to put the xmas decorations up, not that I am feeling at all in the Christmas spirit, cannot put my finger on why though, young Finch was in a strange mood, and after one or two words the decorations were put away by grumpy old Ebeneezer Finch to teach him a lesson!

Got a second interview next week, last one was competency based, which I sailed through apparently!

Found I have double booked myself this weekend, so canceled both, I am sure the Masonic Lodge can do without me, I have a friend who is keen for me to join them, I am quite happy for them to pay me to do the odd disco, but the thought of joining them fills me with revulsion, I have had personal dealings with their membership before, as a youngster I lost a job because of my step fathers masonic influence, so despite the fact it would have him turning there is not a chance in hell of me becoming a member, as I strongly disagree with the way they go about their business.

Forgot to say I have an interview first thing tomorrow then a mad dash home to be at the Star for opening time a quick beer and bugger off to Wales!

Well its here, the New Romney Mountain Rescue Team head off to the Brecon Beacons for our annual weekend of general mayhem, no girlfriends or wives to nag and and have a moan about how loud we are, no kids to distract us, just a group of men intent on having a giggle. This years activites are weather dependent, firstly if the cloudbase is high we are going gliding, which should be awesome, if the cloud is low we can bugger off and watch the Rally of Great Britain in the forests, or if its wet its the indoor climbing centre.
All in all it promises to be a great weekend with a few hangovers, for me its my third weekend on the trot in South Wales, and I have loved every trip so far!

At home it appears to be very very quiet, as young Finch has a throat infection and cannot talk, I have enquired as to how long this can be extended, sadly the Dr wants it to get better.

I am warming to the French more and more since my visit in the summer, they have a marvelous attitude to protesting, I have mentioned before the owner of the Cafe in Conde Folie insisting I smoked in his Cafe, as he detested the laws laid down by those gits in Paris (they were not going to let the fact its an EU rule stop them), they think nothing of blocking the roads if the price of sheep goes to high! and now the good people of Cretell, West of Paris have had enough of high food prices, these genius's decided to protest in a most original way, they went en masse (yer actual French) into a Carrefore hypermarket and set up a picnic, but outside but they set tables up inbetween the frozen food and flowers, and then helped themselves to the food in and around the shop, much to the chagrin (more of your actual French) of the stores security manager, who lost the plot a tad. The rest of the nation are now viewing these protesters as modern day Robin Hood's.
Can you imagine us Brits doing something like that? No I did not think so we are far too polite....

Well what a weekend, we drove up to my brothers Friday afternoon, dashed across to the outlet to purchase some base layers, and they were an essential purchase. We decided to tackle Lord Hereford's Knob, a mountain in the Black Mountains, so Saturday morning found us driving, and alarmingly the temp outside the car dropped to -2, very cold, on the cold index it was classed as chuffing cold! The climb was good through some gorgeous scenery, we set out at around 9am and arrived at the top around 12.30, the views were stunning, below us as you can see was the cloud base, up on top we found a little dip and set up our cookers for Meatballs in sauce with egg fried rice and pitta bread, and of course hot coffee from our flasks, it was bitterly cold on top and standing still quickly led to a drop in body temperature, so luckily where we cooked gave us some protection from the cold icy wind. We got back to the car at around 3ish and headed to Llanthony Priory, the ruins of a 12th century abbey, which has a tiny litle bar, where we had a hot cup of tea and mince pie.
Sunday saw us in the Waterfalls area, followed a drive over two massive peaks, we paused at the top of one to watch 3 lunatics throw themselves off using hang gliders, what was off putting were the memorials to those who had died, right where they took off! I was heard to comment "bugger off if you think I will ever do that" just before they took off, which changed to "i want some of that" by the time the hang glider had swept past us at speed!
The weekend was ended with my brother cooking a superb lunch of boiled bacon, roast potatoes, creamed leeks, brussels, parsnips and another green vegetable, which was duly demolished, trouble is brussels do have an effect, and the journey for Ian and I home was a contest to see who could gas the other!

Gawd I have a job interview next Friday at 9am at a rather large and well known institution as a H&S bod on silly money!

I have purchased the pictured apron for the New Romney Mountain Rescue weekend, perfect for my weekend in the kitchen!

Had a great weekend in Wales with friends, we stayed with my big brother in Bridgend and had to be in Cardiff for 1pm for the game, trouble is the match started at 5! so off we went to a local hostelry where hospitality was laid on (Copious amounts of free beer) and me the only Englishman in a bar full of Welsh and Kiwi's! well you can imagine the amount of stick I received as the England South Africa game was on..... all good natured then off to the game, trouble was I spent most of the match popping down to the loo, the atmosphere in the stadium was incredible and when the Welsh belted out the anthem it made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. After the game we decided the train was not an immediate option as there appeared to be 70000 people trying to use the trains, so surprise surprise we hit a bar.... I must say shopping Sunday morning with young Finch was a rather quiet affair!

This Friday Ian and I are off to my brothers again for a walking weekend, my brother has selected a hill called Lord Hereford's Knob to walk round.....

Phew, very busy at the moment, all seems to be work work work, very involved in next years Gang Show which will see me up on the stage again!
This weekend we are off to Wales to see Wales vs All Blacks, I am a bit concerned as the Kiwi and I are meeting her family in Cardiff at 1 and the game starts at 5.15, methinks beer will flow.
All eyes on the weather for the weekends following, a walking weekend with Old Big Nose and my brother in the Brecons is loomin, followed by the New Romney Mountain Rescues Annual Training weekend in the Brecons, I fear the liver may be grumbling by Xmas.

Feeling rather chipper today, the man flu is going finally, and my new found mate Rufus has invited me to come and see him live in December, I was due to see Darts on that night but sadly that has been canceled due to Den Hegarty's wife being ill, so I am free to see the Hound prowling the stage, only trouble is he has sworn blind he is not going to pick on me, unlike when we did the QI Test recording where he ripped the living daylights out of me! so I am fully expecting him to go back on his word.
Next weekend I am off to Wales with Dan and the Kiwi, we are going to see Wales vs The All Blacks, should be a one way game really! then the weekend after its back up to Wales for a weekend of walking in the Beacon, and then the weekend after its the New Romney Mountain Rescue Teams annual trek to the Bunkhouse in Wales for a rather drunken weekend.

I do usually give to charity when sitting on a tube, as I am not 100% sure if they are genuine, today whilst traveling home on the District Line 3 ladies got on in fancy dress, one as Snow White, another as Andy Pandy, the third was in a french maids outfit, I did my usual and buried myself in my ipod until the french maid bent down right in front of me, gorgeous blonde, blue eyed lass a with a cleavage.....kerching, I emptied my pockets of cash into the Children in Need bucket, not that I am fickle you understand

Well the man flu has hit a new level, I ache all over, my eyes feel tired, my head aches, i feel like I have been run over by a ten ton truck. It is so bad, I have had 1 fag and bugger all to eat, just drinking tea.....
Other than all's well.

Man Flu

I have been struck down with Man Flu, a nasty debilitating virus often derided by women!
Here is the Wikipedia entry that shows its real...

Man flu is a largely pejorative term that refers to the exaggerated symptoms experienced by men when suffering from flu or a cold.

I suspect the word pejorative is not a nice word and the thing was written by a woman......

I have been tracing my family history, with the help of my Uncle we can go back as far as around about the 12th Century, and that takes us back to the Sheriff of Forfar! Of the more recent family members I have been trying to get more details of my Uncle's death in World War Two,I recall being told by my mother he had died as a result of wounds received on 28th Aughust 1944 in Italy, and that he lay in the battlefield beyond help and may have survived if they could have got to him. Today I made contact with someone in his Regiment who has access to the Regimental accounts that could tell me more and put me in touch of survivors of the battle. My interest was raised by my visit to the Somme battlefields in the summer, and the emotions that stirred up at the time were very powerful, and I am now determined to visit my Uncles grave next year at some stage.

Well the recording is over! A rather nerve racking day yesterday, but on arrival at the studio we were met with a few cold drinks, a wardrobe lady who was rather keen to see what we where wearing, and then John Lloyd, who he? well he is the Executive Producer and amongst his credits is Not the Nine O'Clock News. We had a mixed bunch taking part, and were taken to our dressing rooms, in our dressing room were 6 of us, one who had won £250,000 on who wants to be a millionaire, another who was on Eggheads, they were there as the brains! Rufus Hound was presenting with Rick Wakeman and Reginald D Hunter taking part, and an expert on each show, the first expert was setting questions on the Tudors, and the other was a hedgehog expert.
We were left n our dressing room with loads of food, and freedom to rampage through the alcohol in the fridge, which we did, Willie the Producer popped in to give us a pep talk and found a rather alcohol fueled bunch having a mini party! Make up was next, man alive the make up girl was fit! then after more drinks it was down to the studio for the recordings, with an audience! for some reason the nerves vanished, it all went very well, I lost the last show in spectacular fashion, you score points for a correct answer and lose for a wrong, I was in a state of negative equity and Rufus before each round told us anyone can win....except Peter! Rick Wakeman was full of great stories and Reginald was hilarious, after we nipped back to the green room for a few drinks with the host and stars, all very approachable, then it was home, where I made my big mistake, in all the excitement I neglected to remove my make up..... Got some great looks on the train!

Another busy week, Saturday found Bertie and I making a rare outing as DJ's at a friends party, thought it was going to be a tough night, set up in someones living room, with older types and lots of young uns. the young uns vanished at around 10pm so Bertie and I stuck on some croons! man alive they loved it, we go had em all up and singing, I was dragged up at one stage and belted out Frankie Vaughan's Tower of Strength which went down a storm as did my unique version of Delilah! Bertie and my friends were impressed with my spot of Ballroom, one of the ladies wanted a dance partner for one tune and I obliged, poor sods had no idea I went Ballroom Dancing a lot with the Kiwi! A very good night, despite our initial fears it would be a wrong un!

Sunday was my birthday, a nice relaxing day, I got some great bits, including a Punk Pig that sings Sham 69 tunes (from John and Judy) Dan got me the Art and Science of Cricket, by Bob Woolmer, everything I need to make me a great cricketer! Tom was over Sunday evening to watch Lewis win the F1 World Title, and I made myself a trifle....yum.

Back to work Monday, very very busy and I have a trade fair tomorrow, where I am speaking! and this afternoon its off to Talkback Thames to record two episodes of The Qi Test, I have had to sort out 3 different outfits for their wardrobe to approve, no stripes or checks! thats me buggered. Have to be there at 3 for make up and we start recording at 4.30 I am told! starting to feel a little nervous now.

Well it's been a hell of a busy week, started with an audition which was fun and seemed to go ok! Tuesday found me delivering a health and safety session to a homeless group of peer befrienders, these people are reformed alcoholics, ex junkies and in most cases were homeless fairly recently, they are volunteering to help those still addicted, man alive what a great bunch, they loved my presentation, and were so easy to teach.

I am a big fan of both Russell Brands show and Jonathan Ross, and had "THAT SHOW" on my ipod, it was funny but very wrong! the problem I have is with the media hanging these two out to dry is, the show was pre-recorded, now I have done the odd radio show (some very odd) and you always edit out the bits that are either not right or just plain filth, so why did the production team or the BBC not do that with this show? something went wrong in the chain, part of the problem is that the show is produced by Russell Brands own company, and obviously he would have the final say, but the BBC who put it out should have checked it out and quite obviously did not! A huge amount of utter filth has been cut out of a huge amount of shows, and nothing is done about it, for a few days after the show there were only a handful of complaints, after a Mail article that shot up to 30,000+, now I may be wrong, but I am pretty sure your average Mail reader is not the target audience for these shows!

Nest week see's me at Talkback Thames recording a pilot for TV, I got an email today, I have to be in make-up at 3pm for a 7pm recording, and the list of shirts not to be worn clashes with my wardrobe..... i feel a trip to Bluewater looming, must phonethe Kiwi, I am sure she will help!

Friday lunchtime found me in Hammersmith minding my own business, was approached by a young lady from the BBC, asking questions about older men looking for work, obviously I thought she was asking me as a younger person... did the thing then carried on my own sweet way, I was awoken at 8.15 being accused of ruining a friends breakfast, I had completely forgotten the interview. Apparently it turns out the reporter thought I was 50! never watching BBC Breakfast again.

See my distinguished performance here...http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7690474.stm

More genius

I visited Starbucks in Hammersmith on my way to one of the offices I work at, dear me, what is the world coming to? one of my pet hates is the Americanization (i think that spelling is from the US) of life in general, today it hit my Starbucks, having woken myself on the tube at the correct stop, rather than Ealing Broadway, where I awoke last week, I felt the urge for my favourite coffee, entered the shop top be greeted by an over cheerful female of the species who then opened her gob, and said "good morning sir, can I help you" which as an opening line is ok, but when delivered with a US accent I start to worry about how this conversation will end,so I ordered my drink and handed over the cash, at which point she ruined everything by saying "you have a nice day sir" aaaaarrrrgh and delivered with a wink, which then rendered me like Harry Enfields character in his recent show, now firstly I hate that sodding phrase and secondly, the bloody wink confused me, a man of may age being winked at by a 21 year old most confusing...... so ignored the woman based on that phrase and shuffled along to collect my coffee from some spotty youth hidden behind the coffee machine, the reason she is hiding there is so that us poor customers cannot a)see what she is doing and b) so as not to scare the customers with her chronic acne! of course I am speculating about b) as I could not see the coffee maker. SO off i trudged to my office, a 10 minute walk only to discover when I got there that half of the froth had vanished leaving me with half a cup of coffee...I feel cheated.

I finished at 1 and headed off to see a lady friend for lunch in Ealing, now I am sure I knew a limerick about a young lady from Ealing.....

For some stupid reason we are off to the Valley tonight.....must be mad

It has been an interesting weekend, I have spent most of it coming to terms with the fact that my studying days are behind me and that I can now earn a lot more money! and also spent a lot of time chatting to fellow Charlton fans about the looming takeover, on the whole it seems very good, if it goes through Pardew will have some cash for the January transfer window, so now all we hope is that the team keep getting results and keep us in touch with the play-offs, sadly I think this current group may not be able to do that, coupled with the fact that other teams will now be very keen to beat us and will raise their games it will be a tough old time til January, my only concern is that Pardew's record in the transfer market is not the best.
I have a few days to myself, no work until Wednesday so I am off to do some shopping and I have some private work to get finished so that's me sorted til then.

How to amuse yourself, go to google, type in French Military Victories and hit I'm feeling lucky..... he he

Well well, Charlton to be purchased by the Dubai group that were at one stage interested in Newcastle Utd, the Charlton message boards are alive with all sorts of the usual banter, suggestions to rename the East Stand Mecca are popular, what is even funnier is message boards for West Ham and Palarse fans, the green eyed monster is alive and well, and the odd Charlton fan is getting on there and having a little bit of fun. The best Charlton one is this http://www.charltonlife.com/forum/, some really funny stuff on there.
A few supporters are concerned that the Club will become some Corporate monster like Chelsea, but the new potential owners have released a statement and are fully aware of Charlton's history and how integral the supporters have been in the clubs history.
Right I am off back to the Palace message board to gloat.

Charlton to be taken over by Mega Rich Arabs.....

I amused myself greatly lunchtime today, i was heading up to Charing Cross station on my way from Embankment, and heading home from work, and as I neared the steps to the station I saw two rather nice ladies in Chefs outfits, they were promo girls for Lindt chocolates, so I duly accepted my 2 free pieces of chocolate, I noticed that there were several other Lindt promo people lurking around outside various station entrances, it took me 3 walks round the block to fill my pockets.....

Got home to find my exam results..... not sure how but I have passed, fancy a cup of tea now!

Tis the season to be nervous..... Exam results are arriving, two of my fellow students have got theirs today and passed, it seems they are being sent out alphabetically so I should get mine real soon..... shit I am scared

There was me all doom and gloom about Charlton, and what happens? the buggers got a win! you just cannot rely on them...
Had a good weekend, Ian was over Friday night, so we sat and listened to some great music, drunk loads of coffee and smoked too much!
The rest of the weekend was very good, up and at em Saturday then down to the coast Sat afternoon, and back home Sunday evening, all in all a very nice weekend, and just goes to show there is life in the old dog yet.

Joe Kinnear has his first game as Newcastle manager this weekend, I do worry for the Toon, Joe once paid money for Carl Leaburn.......

Been a busy 24 hours, have been down in Gravesend today working my nuts off, luckily I have been asked to talk at a seminar about health and safety with some business types, hopefully there will be some more work as a result.
Had a call from Talkback Thames and will be recording a pilot of The Qi Test next month, so all I need to do is fond a suitable shirt!

The current Financial Mess - An explanation

Your average Charlton fan does not ask for much, a few wins here and there a decent run, and of course players and managers that have a bit of a clue what they are doing, and one of the vital things is to beat our rivals Crystal Palace, now I do not think that is to much to ask. Last night Charlton played Crystal Palace and lost.... and it seems to me that Alan Pardew cannot do a thing about it, after our defeat at the weekend he was bleating on about how he has players in the reserves champing at the bit to play and that after the Saturday's game he would give some of them a go, so we will lose last night and there is Pardew saying the same thing, a large percentage of these players were signed by Pardew, some have failed to live up to their billing and his judgement is shown up to be pretty poor, lets look at who he has signed, £1.1 Million on Izale Mcleod, 1 goal in 18 appearance, Paddy McCarthy £650k stayed a year then left for Palace, Andy Gray £1.5 million 6 goals in around 30 appearances, Luke Varney £2 million, 10 goals in 48 appearances, Martin Cranie (loan) Linvoy Primus (loan and knackered), none of these have set the Valley alight, Luke Varney seems ok but Andy Gray is just a big lump, nothing more... Pardew appears to not know what he is doing, he continues to play Kelly Youga who as every game goes looks more and more like a waste of time, when he has Grant Basey a Welsh International in reserve, and a far better player than Youga who seems to like passing the ball as long as its not to one of his own team, Lloyd Sam is played every week, his passing is woeful and as wingers go he looks a good keeper!
Pardew likes nothing more than having the ball lumped up front, great when you hae a 6ft 4 striker, but when you have Luke Varney 5ft 11 playing as the lone striker it does not work! any fool can see that, sadly I have come to one conclusion, Pardew must go, he talks a good game, but when push comes to shove he is found wanting, the trouble is the Club can not afford to sack him from a financial point of view. Its going to be long long season.

Tis the season for the sniffles

I hate when summer turns to autumn, mind you I think we have just emerged from a long spring, because for several months I have been looking and have not seen sight nor sound of summer! well this time of year is usually the time when we all seem to pick up the sniffles, which is precisely what I have done, I woke up this morning feeling fine, had my bacon butty then started work, as the morning has progressed a sniffle has developed, until now at 13.30 I have a slight headache, I fear the onset of Man Flu, a very nasty condition that affects your average man, and renders him incapable of doing the most basic of tasks without moaning. The trouble is I have an extremely busy time ahead, the voice is required in tip top condition on Friday evening, and as for the rest of the weekend, well Dan is away so I will leave the rest to your imagination! On top of that this Monday I start doing some work for the Civil Service so need to be on top of my game. So I have no alternative but to look into the various pills and potions to help this old fart cope with man flu, and to protect my voice, I shall be eating lots of fresh pineapple, which for some reason has always helped when the voice has given me issues!

As I mentioned Young Finch is away this weekend at his mothers, luckily he and his mother have patched up and issues they had, so thank goodness I will not have to get dragged around the hell hole that is Bluewater. I seriously think that it would enhance the whole shopping experience if pushchairs were banned, these people drive there reasonably safely, so what turns them into arsholes as soon as they have a pushchair at their hands? they quite happily clatter into anyone who gets in their way, and the kids scream at the top of their lungs.....little shits should be banned!
I was discussing this with a Kiwi friend of mine at the weekend, who just thinks its hilarious the state I get in about it, now what I actually think hilarious is her trying to climb her apple tree to prune it from within! if only my camera was handy!
Still we got the job done and put some particularly nasty weedkiller on to the brambles, then spent the rest of the afternoon viewing a house,which was very nice, an offer has been made and accepted!

A certain radio station called today, following on from my talking with them in the summer when they rejected me! well it seems they have some stuff for me to do, and I will need to dust off the passport! Now where is my sun tan lotion and Imodium?
Deep Joy

The Finch boys in action against Billericay!

This Monday Virgin Radio becomes Absolute Radio, Virgin is my favourite music station and I have BBC 5 Live for sport and news, when Virgin first burst onto the airwaves all those years ago they were a breath of fresh air, playing some corking music that nobody else was playing, through the original Virgin I discovered my admiration for Pink Floyd, Van Morrison, and many many more, this sort of music at the time was not being playlisted by anyone, sadly Richard Branson then sold the station and over the years as the station has changed hands the original idea and sound has been diluted, so you would find songs that would be played on Capital now being played on Virgin, not my really my cup of tea. Listening over the last few weeks it appears the station is heading back to its original state, which is great.

When I myself have presented radio shows on all the stations I have worked, I have always insisted on choosing the music myself, if the station had a particular sound and style and my style would not fit in I would not do it, as has happened a few times, I have no qualms with a playlist that is designed for a specific audience,you can look at a playlist and get a very good idea of who they are aiming at.

The playlist is essential and a lot of care and attention is needed to be put into it, otherwise it will all sound a mess, as has happened at Gateway in Basildon, when I joined them in the Summer I was given my usual licence by one of the Directors (who knows what he is doing)as I had worked with him before and he got me in to do the style of show I was good at, sadly as you may have seen in an earlier blog other Directors who quite obviously have no idea about radio wanted me to do the show with their playlist using a PC based system that frankly was a shambles, the playlist was a complete disaster, absolutely no though had gone into it, some of the music on their was frankly embarrassing, who these days plays Gary Glitter's Do you wanna touch for gods sake? They did have the opportunity to have a great playlist , in fact they had it in place, Bertie, who has done the same job for Virgin, Invicta, Millenium, Swale Sound and many other stations, was in the month leading up to ur joining working all hours to sort a very good playlist out, sadly a few days before we were due to start they scrapped all the work he had done and gave the job to a 15 year old, and as a result we had no listeners, and no chance!

So playlist is everything, Radio 2 have a good mix during the day, and know exactly who there market is, the likes of Capital, XFM all seemed to have theirs sussed, and thank god Virgin are going back to what they are good at!
Shame about Gateway they had a chance to be decent but the ego has landed! in the meantime I have had an interesting offer which I am going to accept!

Just got awarded a rather lucrative 6 month contract! yippee!! feeling very chuffed with myself.

My walking companion and I are sorting dates for Oct/Nov walks, we will be doing Offa's Dykes and the Waterfalls region in the Brecons, and Old Finch is threatening to join us!

Have this clever new gadget, it tells me exactly who views my blog and will even identify anonymous comments! been having a butchers, makes very interesting reading......

Bluewater with Plumstead's own style guru this weekend :(

My son worries me, he has a huge sum of cash to blow on clothes this Saturday, he has been telling me what he would like to get....good grief Gok Kwan should talk to the boy

Just booked myself in for a Wellman overhaul at the quacks, doubtless they will tell me to stop smoking, drinking, and generally enjoying life! apparently they check everything....

Cricket Club AGM this evening, we have had a good season, more wins than losses and I have eased up on the bowling now and tend to concentrate on batting. My brother has decided to join the team full time next year which is a result.

Its been a funny few days, the young one seems to back on good form, much more like his usual daft self! Off up to town on Friday to talk about some work for a local authority, 6 months worth of regular stuff! and my exam results are due in 3 weeks! knees are starting to tremble a tad...

Going to speak to the owners of Finch Hotel as Ian and I are planning a couple of large walks in South Wales soon. The New Romney Mountain Rescue Team are looking forward to their weekend in December, a barrel is coming down with us apparently as well as the home made blackberry schnapps! god I am worried for my liver!

New Toilet signs for Hampstead Heath

Feeling a bit sorry for myself this morning, since I had some health issues a few years ago, I have had to watch what I eat, I cannot go near chinese food due to the devastating and painful effect it has on me, I have to avoid fried food, trouble is I love bacon, so I have tried grilling it, and it does not work, this morning I had a grilled bacon sarnie, and within 15 minutes I was camped out in the loo reading Edwina Curries diary! I should explain that due to my stomach issues over the last few years I have spent a lot of time hiding in the smallest room in the house, so I have a small library in there, today I started on Edwina's diary, previously it was a library stacked with sporting biographies, Alan Curbishley's was very popular for a while, then read through Alan Green's and of course all of my Botham books are in there, but what I feel I really need in there is a good giggle (resist the obvious joke reader), some humour, so anyone looking for birthday or xmas ideas, a bit of humour would not go amiss.

The poor little fella came back from his mothers having not had a good weekend, seems Timmy has rubbed him up the wrong way and now as a result his mother will not be coming to see him during the week as she has since she left, as she thinks they need a break from each other, this coming from someone who has him every other weekend, god it must be hard for her! he does not seem to bothered about her mood and was very keen Sunday afternoon to come back home, in fact the little rascal sent me a text asking if he could come home early, being diplomatic I told him he needed to clear this with is mother! She has confessed to me that she is worried that he will turn out like his big brother, I think she is over reacting and really don't think he will be that bad! and he is at the age where he will get moody, its entirely natural, so I will give the little fella some space and we are looking forward to a shopping trip to Bluewater on Sunday, for a spot of retail therapy. She seems more upset about all this than he is, I cant help feeling there is a spot of guilt clouding her thinking.
This Saturday I am up at the Kiwi's helping in the garden in exchange for a good lunch and some gossiping. The weekend after the boy will be away with his mother to resume hostilities with Timmy, and I have a quiz night to host in Sittingbourne foolwed by a dash down to the coast to meet a 'friend'.......

You may recall I did some Radio for Gateway FM in Basildon during the summer, today they contacted me about working for them in December, one of the Directors called and wanted to discuss an email I sent in July, where I told them a few home truths, they attached conditions to me returning such as using their play-out system (which is crap) and stick to their playlist (also crap)I pointed out that the playout system was only suitable for webstreaming and not for radio broadcast and that the playlist was awful and not at all well thought out, at this point the Director decided to treat me like a child so me being me stopped her in full flow and said would not be doing the broadcast. I am not the only one at the station who felt this, but I seemed to be the only one who had the bottle to point it out. Sadly it appears the wrong person seems to be running things on Gateway FM.
Oh well one door closes and another opens! It could be time for a change!

A bit down in the dumps this morning, Dr has advised me not to go to Cornwall, so I am a bear with a sore head!
On the radio front I will be doing a show from November every Saturday, can't tell you all the details just yet, but looking forward to it big time!

Name the countries these artisit come from

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Things don't look too good for the walk in Cornwall this weekend, I pulled a stomach muscle on Sunday whilst batting, then got a heavy duty knock to my knee when diving for a catch(which I held), as it stands at the moment, its 50-50 as to whether I can do it, might have to leave it til the last minute to decide.

Richard Wright, Keyboard player of Pink Floyd died today, Pink Floyd are one of my favourite bands, very sad news.

Poor old Toon, they seem to be in a terrible state, the supporters believe they are the best, they are not, they turn on the team and Staff as soon as the team has a bad 45 mins...fact! They think they are one of the biggest clubs and deserve success.....they have won sod-all for 50 years, so what they need is a new owner, and here are the criteria they need to meet.

1) Be a Geordie
2) Thicker skinned than Simon Cowell
3) Richer than Christmas cake
4) Maybe a bit delusional
5) Probably a bit stupid

Well, there's only one person that fits the bill if you ask me - Heather Mills, your time has come.

Well I am highly delighted, just been watching Sky Sports News, and one of my most hated people on TV is Jeff Winter, a former premiership referee, for the past few years since retiring from being a crap ref, he has been voicing his opinions on ref matters for Sky, today a new man appeared, step forward Dermot Gallagher! hopefully his arrival signals the departure of Mr Winter.

Oh by the way, your Reporter is alive and well!

Having a quiet night in this evening after last nights fun and games!! Dan is away so we will be trying to catch up with all the stuff I have recorded on Sky + just watched The Bourne Ultimatum and now going to settle down to Mock the Week, well there are a few of them to view and Harry Enfields new series which looks pretty good.

Spent the afternoon checking weather forecasts, maps, and failing to find any Campsites on the first 25 miles of our walk next weekend, so it seems we will have a spot of wild camping on the cliffs of the South West Coastal Path.

On this day in history

1440 Eton College was founded by Henry VI. Prefects were warned to look out for "ill-kempt heads and unwashed faces."



1873 - The first practical typewriter was sold to customers.

1916 - Adelina and August Van Buren finished the first successful transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted by two women. They started in New York City on July 5, 1916. (Ed- They would have been quicker but they had trouble with the map)

1922 - The Episcopal Church removed the word "Obey" from the bride's section of wedding vows (Ed- Bad move)

1944 - U.S. Army troops entered Germany, near Trier, for the first time during World War II.

1953 - U.S. Senator John F. Kennedy married Jacqueline Lee Bouvier.

1954 - "Lassie" made its television debut on CBS. The last show aired on September 12, 1971.

1963 The Beatles had their second UK No.1 single with She Loves You.

1983 - Arnold Schwarzenegger became a U.S. citizen. He had emigrated from Austria 14 years earlier.

And most importantly

2005 English clinched the Ashes after a winning the series 2-1.

I thoroughly enjoyed seeing England beat Croatia the other night, a top notch performance when needed, I read a lot of papers in the build up and heard all sorts of journalists sharpening their pencils waiting for England to lose, the likes of Brian Woolnough (Star) and Martin Samuels (The Times) you could tell were poised... now from what I can make out our players feel the pressure before each game, and it is this pressure that affects their performances, they know that if they put a foot wrong they will be destroyed by the press, take Frank Lampard up to Euro 2004 he took his club form into Internationals, then after a few less than impressive performances the press did what they always did, slaughtered the man, all of this stoked the fans up who for a while now have been booing Lampard when he wears the England shirt at Wembley, do these journalists really think the players do anything other than try their best? I thought the idea of a journalist was to report the facts.. I am not interested in Martin Samuel's opinions (and boy does this over inflated ego have one). Its high time these idiots got behind our national team, they usually do once we get through the group phase of a championship, then its all hail our conquering heroes... the same heroes they had been slaughtering, I recall in the build up and during the group stages of the World Cup in Italy how these people were running down the England side saying how bad they were, how they would go nowhere, but suddenly we were in the Quarter Finals and the same team they had been ripping to shreds were now world beaters and the hapless Bobby Robson was now a top class manager, Martin Samuels and Brian Woolnough were amongst those people. These people make a good living out of football, think they are experts when they are just like you and me but they can write a bit, instead of slaughtering our teams they should stick to reporting the facts, and avoid their own ego fueled opinions that have a detrimental effect on the players. England needs its players to play without fear, that will not happen with the media behaving the way they do, but of course they are too arrogant, too full of their own self importance to even consider that!
As for the game Wednesday night, it was awesome, but a word of warning, they will not play like that every game, that is not possible, there will be times when a result will be ground out, where games will be tight dour affairs with few chances, that is the nature of football, Man Utd and Chelsea (successful teams) know this, and so does Fabio Capello, his Real Madrid side did not win in a swashbuckling way, they were efficient and got the job done, that is what we are going to see from England in the future I think. And Theo Walcott is not going to score 3 goals every game, he is young and will be inconsistent for a while, but the talent is there....
Right thats me happy....I have had my say!

Had a very interesting day today, I have secured some work with the Civil Service and a contract with a London Council, all good news for me, and will keep me more than occupied and will mean the midnight candle will be burnt a few times!
Been checking through my gear for next weeks trip to Cornish Cornwall, everything seems in order, just need to get some new Gaiters and we will be good to go! We have purchased some pre prepared food sachets for the weekend so we can be entirely self sufficient and not need to stop at any shops!

I may have mentioned that I am off to Cornwall for a walking weekend, well its a week tomorrow that we head off, we fly down to Newquay and get taken up to Boscastle then walk back to Newquay, easy.... my arse! we have a pod like tent, and are packing as light as possible for the trip, this is just a mere practice run for next summers 192 mile coast to coast walk which is going to be incredibly hard, so once a month we will be heading off, we have walks planned in the Brecons, Snowdonia, the Lakes and Peak District.

The Cricket team zooms back into action this weekend as we take on a team called Red Dogs, there is an air of confidence following our win the other week against Billericay CC, not sure if my brother is playing, but I am sure he will, and it will probably be our last of the season, hopefully I can get in the runs!

Things on the personal side are on the up!!!

Its official, I am old, I have gout! my big toe is very painful and the last two nights sleep has been difficult, my Dr asked about my recent diet.....France is to blame!
Now I always thought gout affected men of a certain vintage, I am a mere youngster at 45! my big brother has it but he is 58! my middle brother is 53 will have to ring him to see if he has it! In the meantime I am going to hobble about til the medication kicks in!

I need to elaborate on our cricket game yesterday, our team played exceptionally well and looked very lively in the field and worked hard to limit the opposition, we batted first had a dodgy start with my brother Bill holding things together, I was due in at number 5 and looking forward to batting with my big brother, sadly he got himself out so I strode out to try and get some runs and push our score up which we managed to do scoring 182 for 7 off 30 0vers which is a fair old lick and setting them a stiff run rate to achieve victory, which thanks to some great bowling and fielding we managed.
Now as a side show to our efforts on the pitch next to ours was the Essex Academy team, managed by one Keith Fletcher, who used to manage England at one stage, our younger lads were extremely keen to impress!!
This morning my knee is shot to pieces, its swollen and stiff as hell, the rest of the body is in full working order thankfully!

Bugger me the Star Inn Cricket Club beat Billericay Cricket Club on a County standard pitch! Our fast bowlers scared the crap out of their opener who spat the dummy out at all the quick stuff and then wound up our quick's no end, cue off stump flying and said opener stomping off like a spoilt little child! I even managed some runs with a couple of glorious boundaries!

Now for many years I have been claiming the slightly less hairy spot on the back of my head is a crown, this week I realised to my horror after coming out of the shower, it is in fact a bald spot. I think this is a sign of maturity, also I thank heaven that I have far more hair than my brother Bill! who is also ginger.... poor fella.

Its Sunday tomorrow, and I am back on the cricket pitch (as well as aged brother Bill) in Billericay, my first game for a while, and I have not been near a bat or ball for nearly two weeks, add on that fact that last weeks diet in France included gallons of red wine and fine food, and the game is 40 overs, I am rather concerned for my well being tomorrow evening!

There is a very strange quiet in the house, young Finch has headed over to his mums for the weekend so I am on my tod, with bugger all to do, so I am enjoying my music and downloading stuff from Itunes..... heaven.

The area we stayed in was about 40 minutes drive from Amien and the Somme. The Somme is a river that runs through farmland in Picardy and is exceptionally beautiful, sadly its history is not, for centuries it has seen death and destruction, the worst of which was in the Great War of 1914-18 where 1.5 million soldiers perished. The front line was at Thiepval, where the memorial to the lost has been erected (see pic above), it lists all of the names of those whose bodies were never recovered, the whole area is very peaceful and its very difficult to imagine what happened there.

The Battle of the Somme, also known as the Somme Offensive, fought from July to November 1916, was among the largest battles of the First World War. With more than 1.5 million casualties, it is also one of the bloodiest military operations recorded. The Allied forces attempted to break through the German lines along a 12-mile (19 km) front north and south of the River Somme in northern France. One purpose of the battle was to draw German forces away from the Battle of Verdun; however, by its end the losses on the Somme had exceeded those at Verdun.

The whole Somme region is incredibly moving, everywhere we went we came across war graves, beautifully cared for by the War Graves Commission, visiting these sites is incredibly emotional, they have visitors books which I defy anyone to read through and not feel moved, at Memorial to the Lost I found myself wiping away a few tears as I walked around looking at all the names of those who were never found, and thinking that they were someones loved one, son, father and yet they had no proper grave for their relatives to visit. My Uncle was killed in World War 2 and has a grave in Italy that my Mother visited in 1985, but these poor brave people did not, very very sad. I think my next trip may well be to my Uncles grave.

The more you learn about this particular battle the more you want to you feel that this was a case of ignorant General's sending these poor souls to their death based on stupid assumptions, One of the leading British Generals addressed his men on the night before the first battle and told them they did not need a rifle, but a walking stick was more suitable as the German's had been wiped out following the artillery barrage, what this fool did not know was that the Germans were safe and sound in deep bunkers whilst the shelling went on, and as soon as Allies went over the top they emerged to slaughter 50,000 in the first few minutes.

At Thiepval they have built a visitor centre which tells the whole sorry story and in my opinion is more than worth a visit.

Well we are back from Conde Folie, and it has changed my perception of France in a rather large way, before I was convinced the French were rude, smelt of garlic and where just, well French to be honest, it has been explained to me that the French I have met previously were city dwellers, who are as described above, the fold in Conde Folie and the Picardy area in general are very welcoming and to my surprise and amusement, barking mad.

My first real contact came in what was to become my regular haunt, the Bar Tabac, run by Michel and Briggite, who were more than welcoming to this 'Anglais', the poor pair had to put up with my pathetic attempts at French, but had patience and were more than happy to help me correct any errors I made. Michel has signs up saying that smoking is prohibited, but Michel and for that matter the rest of rural France I hate being told what to do by the Parisennes, who they detest with a passion! so on my first visit he was talking in a rather animated manner at me with arms flying wildly, this was a bit worrying until Eamon translated that Michel insisted I smoke in the bar and if they tried to stop anyone smoking in his bar there would be a revolution and the guillotine would be dusted off, so much to my joy and Michel's approval I lit the first of many cigs in this marvelous establishment!

The only downside was the fact that I shared my room with my son and my two godsons, one of my godsons has a disturbing habit whilst asleep, he spends the entire night lifting his legs than whacking them down on the mattress, an activity that does not lead to getting off to sleep, luckily I discovered how to render this a non issue....its called red wine and was very effective!

The big day is here, and we are off to France in about an hour! bring on the can can girls, the wine, the fine food and my French phrase book, I am trying to work this into conversations...votre mère était hamster et votre éperlan de père des baies de sureau !

Had a long chat with an old Museum colleague and the upshot is I have some private work in the Civil Service! get on that gravy train!!!

Catch up on our return have fun all!

History Lesson, Lesson 2

The next time you're washing yourself and complain that the water temperature isn't to your liking, think how it was for the unfortunate people living in the 1500s.

Most people married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good in June. However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

There you read it here first!

I am watching the Olympics on tv, and think they are having a problem with the floodlights, everyone appears to be squinting!

I seem to be really enjoying the Beijing Olympics, the Gold Rush has been great to watch, now anyone who knows me will know I am fiercely British (English mainly but will accept wins from the lesser parts of the Union), and I have a fair amount of friends who are from Australia and New Zealand, nothing gives me greater pleasure than us to beat them, its more fun to beat the Aussies as they appear to be the brashest of the lot, your average Kiwi is an accountant (in my experience) and reasonably sensible and knows not to gloat too much, they do get a bit chipper just before the Rugby World Cup until after a few games they realise that as usual the buggers will choke! But the Aussies are a totally different breed, they are the best as far as they are concerned, saldy this no longer appears to be true, us Poms have been chipping away at their brashness, starting in 2005 with the Ashes, granted the 2006 ashes was not altogether successful! but we will draw a veil over that. At the Olympics usually the Aussies destroy us in the medal table, but this year its all gone a bit Pete Tong for the poor ex cons, in Athens the Aussies ruled the cycling, but in 2008 our team of wiped the floor with them, now the Aussies are bleating that we bought the medals, as we have scientists and the like as part of the team, now correct me if I am wrong is that not what the Aussies did in the build up to both Sydney and Athens? and there was me thinking we were the whingers! other than chunter on the Aussies have been a little reticent of late... long may it continue, what I really hope for and believe is possible, is that we will regain the Ashes next year the reason? simple they no longer have McGrath, Warne, Langer and Gilchrist, 4 world class players who have all retired, and not sufficiently replaced, the current Aussies are trading on past glories and I look forward to seeing Matty Hayden looking as glum as he did in 2005!

Whilst we are on the sports subject, Charlton give me grave cause for concern, your average Charlton fan expects Promotion either automatic or via a trip to Wembley, slight drawback in these expectations....the team is crap, they are now buying players from Southend for gods sake! and strikers from non-league, a lot of this has to do with the fact the club nearly went into administration in the summer, luckily in the past week two of the higher wage earners were shunted out the door marked exit, firstly Amdy Faye scarpered to Stoke, how this man can call himself a footballer I will never know! an absolute shocker of a signing, totally useless lacking in any bottle of class, and then Jerome Thomas somehow has managed to get a loan arranged at Portsmouth, how the feck has he managed that? he has all the talent but clueless as to how to use it, A Premier League player? my arse is he, his perfomances in the Charlton team have been underwhelming, the deal is a years loan with an option for Pompey to buy him, which is the problem with the deal, Pompey will see what a waste of space he is in a year and we will have the player back again :(

Now there is a birthday in the family as my sister in law hurtles towards her freedom pass (not quite there yet, sadly age may be getting to her as she seems to confuse Lords with Lourdes) I may devote a page to the various hair colours she has had over the years! then again I may not, as the memory of the helicopter I gave to Tom one Christmas is still fresh, as the presents to my son will testify! So happy Birthday!!!