With all the controversy over Jay-Ze appearing at Glastonbury, I thought he did very well, I even tapped my toes! what did impress me was his first song taking a swipe at Noel Gallagher, who seems to think he is the spokesman for all Glastonbury fans, looking at the reception last night for Jay - Ze I would suspect Noel opened his mouth a bit too much, now there's a shock....

Did my show on Gateway FM today, did not enjoy it at all, hmmm may need to think about this......

Last night found me in Sittingbourne hosting a music quiz to raise funds for Sittingbourne FC, which turned out to be a very good evening, 10 rounds to test their musical knowledge, Bertie, Sue and James came down to help me, the teams did very well and going into the last round we had two teams on a tie, and the winners came out on top by one point. Thanks to everyone at the club for their help it was a good night and as a result I am back in October and December for more quiz shenanigans! Bertie and I headed off home and stopped off at the Service for a coffee and ended up helping a trucker who was having tyre problems, eventually got in about 1.30am.

This afternoon its off to Basildon for Gateway FM, on air 3-5 then destroying Berties show 5-7! I did have a guest lined up but he contacted me last night to say he could not make it! rotten sod, so its a wing it job today. You can listen on the web at www.gatewayfm.com.

Music Quiz

I have been testing my IT skills, at the bottom of the page now is an mp3 player, click on the play button and try and name the 10 Artists, easy, trouble is, it has taken me ages to work out how to do the feckin thing, so please have go and let me know what you think.
Tomorrow night finds me in Sittingbourneshore for the Sittingbourne FC Music Quiz, with yours truly as host, should be a lot of fun, The 4th Bee Gee, AKA John Pitts will be in attendance as will Mark Rogers, Bertie, Sue and James are coming down to give the host a hand! tickets are available on the door and the fun kick off at 7.30pm.
Saturday sees my debut on Gateway FM, 3-5pm with the sport show then on with Colonel Bertie 5-7pm, you can listen live on www.gatewayfm.com.
So have a go at the quiz.
TTFN

To all those asking after my cricket injury, thank you so much for managing to suppress your giggles..... all is well, and recovery is complete....as for Mr Webb and the Last Bot Scout, its not big and its not clever to take the piss! there but for the grace of god....
Yours in plums

I hear in the news this morning on 5 Live that a report into last years floods states we were not prepared, seems to me a case of stating the bleeding obvious, I could have written that for half the price and it would appear on the back of a postcard....the worlds gone mad.......

Faux Pas

My views on my ex wives husband are I think well known, to say I am less than impressed with him is an understatement. Last night I rang the ex to let her know Dan was selected for a cricket match on Friday evening, he answered the phone, I asked for my ex nicely, he did not even speak to me, and could be heard muttering "its him" in the background, by the time she got to the phone I was steaming, I am sick and tired of him treating me like a leper, he has had a rant to my son about me, he does not approve of me in any way, I am mystified as to why he behaves like this, I have never done anything to him, in fact I am the one who should be downright rude! At a family wedding a few years ago he made a point of saying goodnight to everyone except me, now a bit of politeness is not hard surely? so ex was on the phone and off I went in my rant, and lo and behold she agreed with me! You would think it would end there, but no not with me, I decided to vent my anger in a text to a friend describing them both in less than disparaging terms, all well and good until I realised I had sent the text in my rage to my ex wife! Now she is coming round tonight to see Young Finch, I am sure I have a Scout meeting! and I think its about time I gave up the mobile phone, they are hazardous to health............
Yours in hiding

Women KNOW YOUR LIMITS!!!

I was really looking forward to cricket today, got the tea sorted for after the game, got all my gear together, had my pre match drink which is specially prepared by Brain the Landlord, I had a little warm up at the ground and then my first ball chase....ping when the strings in my calf, so I could not bowl, worse was to follow, as the oppositions innings came to an end, a ball was launched in my direction by the batsmen, at first it looked like I could catch it, then at the last second it bounced to the floor, now the bounce looked like I could take it a waist height, nut the damn thing lost all its pace and clattered into my groin, there was a seconds delay before the pain hit me, apparently I went down gradually and failed to get up, my team did not immediately rush to their stricken team mate, no they did what all men do when another cops one in the nads, first they winced then the chuckles could be heard, I was told this eagerly by my team mates, as I was in my own private world of pain and was curled up in a ball, after a rather long period on the floor I resumed my fielding duties for the last over, and to make matters worse I hobbled out to bat and was out for a golden duck, deep joy.... back at the pub the lads despite losing were in a good mood, Young Finch arrived and giggled with delight at the description from the lads of my incident. Our new skipper was proudly showing off a bruise on his arm, at this point other team members started showing off their battle scars from the game, this soon stopped as I started pulling at my belt and offered to show my swelling! Cannot think why......

I was wondering, can you take a school to court for misrepresentation? When we were visiting schools for Young Finch his current school impressed us and him, with promises of after school clubs, and a decent standard of education, on both of these major selling points they have failed, I am sick and tired with their inability to do anything right, the Head Teacher who I sussed as a muppet early on left pretty sharpish, since then we have had a several temporary replacements, no reasons for the muppet leaving, he just went very quickly. Now if he left for a new job then surely he would have worked his notice? and they would have had time to replace him, but I suspect he was pushed, because the school is quite clearly failing, so if he was that bad I do hope he finds alternative employment outside of education. Now there are very strong rumours that the school is in the last chance saloon, and Greenwich Council are threatening possible closure, now this worries me as there are precious few schools in Greenwich, and they are full to the brim, so god knows what they are planning! Looking at the tables there is something blindingly obvious about all this, Greenwich Council have an appalling record regarding education, this Council has been run by the same idiots for way too long, sadly the residents of the borough appear to be too stupid to get rid of them, we fought hard to ensure our Son went to the local C of E school because the 2 schools close to us are useless and over my dead body was he going anywhere near them. Today I received a letter from the school, apparently he has exams next week, in the letter it tells us parents that for the month before the exams they should be studying an hour an night on top of their homework, this letter is about 4 weeks too late! surely the idiot that wrote this should have realised it should have been sent out ages ago, but the letter is dated 17th June, I have had enough, I think its time to start looking for an alternative, as long as its not in Greenwich......

Yours truly has been up since 5am, and has been to Northampton and back, I am a bag of nerves today, Young Finch is playing cricket for his school today, not for Year 7, which he is in but for Year 9, so this proud father is nervously awaiting his return, he is batting at number 4 and is first change bowler, the trouble with Young Finch is, and you may struggle with this one, he is very similar to his Dad and is always lacking on confidence, he does not realise how good he is, despite many people (and some good and experienced judges) telling him he is, I dont tell him this because I dont want to put any pressure on him, as long as he enjoys it thats the main thing, he did say Tuesday night that he really enjoys cricket now he can bat better, so thats good, so hopefully the wicket takes some spin, if it does the wickets will tumble.

We had Cricket practice last night, and the familiar roar and giggle of the young wicket taking Finch was heard, I was batting in he came first 3 balls I defended, 3rd ball I was having with a hefty slap, now it always helps if you middle the ball rather than spoon it up for one of the fielders to catch! So when young Finch stepped up to bat I was there demanding the ball, only one slight problem, for the past week Dan has been working on cover drives and defensive play, little sod would not even nibble, he blocked the whole over including my last ball which was sent down at a decent pace! We have a match this Sunday against The Priory at Avery Hill, so we decided before we started that tonight there would be no daft shots, and we would try and bat properly, sadly the whole team to a man decided to have a go at the Kevin Pietersen shot, now this is hard enough for a world class player to attempt and pull off, let alone the batsmen of The Star Cricket Club, so the result was the clatter of stumps was heard on a regular basis last night amid much laughter from the team. Our wicket keeper is a chatter box, but last night he was a tad quiet, he got hit on the knee and one ball slammed into his throat causing some discomfort and the end his constant sledging! he also got stroppy, he was out LBW, it was the most plumb LBW you could wish to see, the whole team agreed except our wicket keeper, poor lad was distraught, what did not help after the game was us finding a childs dummy, someone (I will not name names) persuaded to Young Finch to deliver it to him, Young Finch wandered up to him in front of the whole team and delivered the dummy with the line "this is your, you spat it out when we got you LBW" stunning.... the whole team was in hysterics except out poor wicket keeper.. Its good to see Young Finch doing as his father ask's for a change!
I have been a man on a mission the last few weeks bullying the team to keep the cricket ball polished as it really helps it swing, the lads did well last night with it and I managed to bowl some lovely in-swinging and out-swinging deliveries, and took a few wickets as well.... it all bodes well for the weekend, I am batting at 6 and will be first change bowler, just like Ian Botham!!!
This morning I have woken up with a very bad right side, for a few days my neck has been sore but it is not at all good today, very very sore and I cannot seem to turn my head too much...Sports Massage I think is required.

Its been an interesting weekend! Saturday found me in Bas Vegas at the radio station training my youth! I was offered the opportunity to help with a visit to Hobbycraft but decided my nails needed pulling! The we departed for East London and to Commando Girls home, now this was fun, a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts appeared and we got stuck into them, although I am concerned about Commmando Girl as she did not realise that one filling was Apricot, whereas myself and OOH (Out of Hours) Doris did! We spent the afternoon making thair Glastonbury flag, god help the place with these two nutters approaching! Food was provided and gratefully devoured, and more friends arrived to inspect yours truly! of course I took all this in my stride, no nervous glances at the door from me! Today I have been at Toms, constructing a Exel based scorecard for the Music Quiz at Sittingbourne FC, tickets still available, 7.30pm 27th June starring moi!

This weekend both Commando Girl and Tom have downloaded music from my external hard drive! its good to be popular.

Young Finch arrived home bearing Fathers Day gifts for the old git, he showed particular interest in me opening and consuming my Toblerone, poor lad is most upset I am saving it til he is in bed.........

I learnt something this evening, did you know that Doris was the first wife of Herod, he was on the whole a nice bloke apparently, that is if you ignore the fact he crucified Brian, no sorry I meant some bloke called Jesus. Also Samuel Pepys the well know diarist and writer had a strange pastime, he used to enjoy masturbating quietly in church, well i suppose it passes the time, heaven knows what would happen if he went for it in a noisy manner! Why have I imparted this knowledge? well this evening I have been at Talkback Thames helping develop a new game show called The QI Test, its like QI but with members of the public rather than comedians, and they start of with 12 and whittle it down to one winner, all good fun and to help things go with a swing they gave us a lot of beer! The host is Rufus Hound who was extremely funny, and very good, the show will be going out daytime on BBC so I suspect it will be cleaned up compared with this evening!
My fridge currently has my favourite spanish cheese, which I will enjoy at my leisure!

Evening all, had an ok weekend, Cricket yesterday was cancelled so bang went my 5 wicket haul.... Saturday found me in Bas Vegas with the cutest 11 month old, think he liked me, we went for a stroll round the shopping centre, and I discovered what a babe magnet an 11 month old is, i mentioned this to Doris who did not seem as enthusiastic as me! strange these women, very strange, although Young Finch agreed and was quite taken with him as well, and no I told him he is not having one!!
Spent some time with Dan Sunday teaching him how to play a cover drive (thats cricket ladies) made sure he realised that it was important to show the bowler the makers name on the bat, little rascal is playing the shot well, even managed to sort his grip out!

This evening I was asked to attend a Scout meeting, apparently I am now putting together a podcast for the Scouts! I am bearing in mind the words imparted to me when I joined again, was its only a 2 hour a week thing!!!! My arse.
Tomorrow evening I am off up to town to help develop a new tv game show which is a spin off from QI. I have no idea what will be going on but who cares!

Just looking at the weather forecast for the cricket Sunday, cloudy and warmish, perfect for my bowling, I feel wickets heading my way..... think I may bat at 11 if its a bowlers day..

You may have noticed I have been a tad grumpy, no? what planet have you been on?????
well today I had the perfect opportunity to grumble, BT buggered me phone, I could not make outgoing calls, so I called them, and spoke to some young man who was notin the least helpful, so I insisted on speaking to his supervisor, to which he said he would check to see if she was available, and she was, no joy with her, I could feel the red mist descending so I asked to speak to her line manager, to which she told me she did not have one, this woman though I was daft so I asked again, again she said she did not have one, so I asked who does she report to and she told me so I asked to speak to them instead, I pointed out I needed to talk to someone who knew there bottom from their elbow (kept it clean Big Bruv gets upset) she told me that sho could arrange this and that he would phone me with in 24 hours, well within an hour she was back and the problem was solved....I knew i was saving it all up for someone!

I note that at the Olympic Site they found a WWII bomb, now its a shame I did not know about this at the time, I would have made contact and asked them to move the bomb to a church tower in Stratford which is an eyesore and frankly could do with the old Boom treatment!!!

I am still mildly grumpy, think its the job thing still annoying me or me just realising I am getting old.......
We have a Cricket match this weekend, we are playing in Eltham, at the ground my late Dad used to play at, I have some pics of him outside the pavilion there, so it will be nice to play there and do well! Apparently my Uncle told me some time back he was a left arm spinner, a bit like my son, and somewhere I do have a player of the year trophy of his, so he was not bad then, sadly he died when I was about 18 months so I never got to know him or see him play, what a shame....
I had a sports massage yesterday, apparently i have tight spot in my bowling arm,its the coracobrachialis muscle that is tight, its used to draw the arm forward and inward, which is important for my bowling action, well I was told that after the massage it would feel stiff...and I have located the said muscle, very easily this morning as it is as stiff as hell... may have to get a massage to relieve the stiffness!!!!

Busy weekend ahead for me, young Finch is at home, and we are off to Bas Vegas during the day Saturday for me to record a 30 second promo for my show, a family BBQ in the late afternoon and godson's in the evening then Sunday its cricket for me and young Finch.... so all in all a busy one.... I have just seen the weather forecast for Sunday and it looks dry and warm, but you never know with a 5 day forecast, it is always a movable feast!

I have just been watching Grumpy Old Men, more and more I am agreeing with them and realising how old and crotchety I am becoming, I may have blogged about this before, but thats a sign, forgetfulness, another sign according to the programme is hair not growing where you want it, but appearing where you don't, I have hairy ears and a hairy nose and a receding hairline which includes what I describe to my son as my 'crown' which in reality is a bald spot, I have been known to wander around with my flies undone, without realising and frankly without caring. I also throughly enjoy a damn good grumble at someone poor unsuspecting sod, these poor people do not deserve to have the Finch ranting at them, but again I could not give a dustman's fart, I need to grumble and grumble I will! I even offered to grumble on behalf of Out of Hours Doris, until I realised that the people she wanted grumbling at were actually operating correctly, so as yet today I have not properly grumbled and therefore I feel deprived, It got so bad last summer I ranted at a Police Officer whilst watching the Tour De France, no hang on the officious twit deserved that, so that was a justified rant, mind you in my mind all the rants are justified, so if you are hanging around anywhere near this grumpy old sod tomorrow, be warned, I need a rant!
Right thats it I am going to regress into my childhood.......again

To the buggers that said no!

The world has gone barking mad, I have just been asked to feed Out Of Hours Doris's virtual dog, who is called Pete, eats too much and likes to have his belly rubbed.....
The world has gone mad.

Grrrr Have had a phone call and did not get the job, found out yesterday, but I went and hid in my cave, which I tend to do when annoyed. Actually to be honest I am not so much annoyed, more really disappointed, for as long as I can remember I have wanted to work on a large radio station, I know I was on Time FM, but it was small fry compared to the one I just applied for, so one of my dreams has just shuffled off into the sunset...

Right so at the Weekend we went to Twickenham to see the Premiership Final, and Wasps won, the catering was excellent, many thanks Out of Hours Doris, and I did my best to empty the food bag which was vast!
Forgotten what I did Sunday now, bugger, must be my age...
Yesterday was in my cave being old grumpy bollocks, and today I am humanish depsite tangling with a jobsworth who seemed to be hung up on the fact I was 2 minutes late, 2 minutes for goodness sake, wanted to point out to this woman that she was in need of a life and possibly a lobotomy but decided against it, so instead got home and let it all out to Out Of Hours Doris on the phone, who was annoyed about her issues with BT, but when we got to the bottom of the matter I could see BT's point, and I told her so, so thats me out of the cave and probably into the Doghouse...
Thanks to Commando girl who last night suggested I fart in the general direction of the radio station the spurned by talents, so I will, but I will need someone to cough loudly for me!