I was really looking forward to cricket today, got the tea sorted for after the game, got all my gear together, had my pre match drink which is specially prepared by Brain the Landlord, I had a little warm up at the ground and then my first ball chase....ping when the strings in my calf, so I could not bowl, worse was to follow, as the oppositions innings came to an end, a ball was launched in my direction by the batsmen, at first it looked like I could catch it, then at the last second it bounced to the floor, now the bounce looked like I could take it a waist height, nut the damn thing lost all its pace and clattered into my groin, there was a seconds delay before the pain hit me, apparently I went down gradually and failed to get up, my team did not immediately rush to their stricken team mate, no they did what all men do when another cops one in the nads, first they winced then the chuckles could be heard, I was told this eagerly by my team mates, as I was in my own private world of pain and was curled up in a ball, after a rather long period on the floor I resumed my fielding duties for the last over, and to make matters worse I hobbled out to bat and was out for a golden duck, deep joy.... back at the pub the lads despite losing were in a good mood, Young Finch arrived and giggled with delight at the description from the lads of my incident. Our new skipper was proudly showing off a bruise on his arm, at this point other team members started showing off their battle scars from the game, this soon stopped as I started pulling at my belt and offered to show my swelling! Cannot think why......

I was wondering, can you take a school to court for misrepresentation? When we were visiting schools for Young Finch his current school impressed us and him, with promises of after school clubs, and a decent standard of education, on both of these major selling points they have failed, I am sick and tired with their inability to do anything right, the Head Teacher who I sussed as a muppet early on left pretty sharpish, since then we have had a several temporary replacements, no reasons for the muppet leaving, he just went very quickly. Now if he left for a new job then surely he would have worked his notice? and they would have had time to replace him, but I suspect he was pushed, because the school is quite clearly failing, so if he was that bad I do hope he finds alternative employment outside of education. Now there are very strong rumours that the school is in the last chance saloon, and Greenwich Council are threatening possible closure, now this worries me as there are precious few schools in Greenwich, and they are full to the brim, so god knows what they are planning! Looking at the tables there is something blindingly obvious about all this, Greenwich Council have an appalling record regarding education, this Council has been run by the same idiots for way too long, sadly the residents of the borough appear to be too stupid to get rid of them, we fought hard to ensure our Son went to the local C of E school because the 2 schools close to us are useless and over my dead body was he going anywhere near them. Today I received a letter from the school, apparently he has exams next week, in the letter it tells us parents that for the month before the exams they should be studying an hour an night on top of their homework, this letter is about 4 weeks too late! surely the idiot that wrote this should have realised it should have been sent out ages ago, but the letter is dated 17th June, I have had enough, I think its time to start looking for an alternative, as long as its not in Greenwich......

Yours truly has been up since 5am, and has been to Northampton and back, I am a bag of nerves today, Young Finch is playing cricket for his school today, not for Year 7, which he is in but for Year 9, so this proud father is nervously awaiting his return, he is batting at number 4 and is first change bowler, the trouble with Young Finch is, and you may struggle with this one, he is very similar to his Dad and is always lacking on confidence, he does not realise how good he is, despite many people (and some good and experienced judges) telling him he is, I dont tell him this because I dont want to put any pressure on him, as long as he enjoys it thats the main thing, he did say Tuesday night that he really enjoys cricket now he can bat better, so thats good, so hopefully the wicket takes some spin, if it does the wickets will tumble.

We had Cricket practice last night, and the familiar roar and giggle of the young wicket taking Finch was heard, I was batting in he came first 3 balls I defended, 3rd ball I was having with a hefty slap, now it always helps if you middle the ball rather than spoon it up for one of the fielders to catch! So when young Finch stepped up to bat I was there demanding the ball, only one slight problem, for the past week Dan has been working on cover drives and defensive play, little sod would not even nibble, he blocked the whole over including my last ball which was sent down at a decent pace! We have a match this Sunday against The Priory at Avery Hill, so we decided before we started that tonight there would be no daft shots, and we would try and bat properly, sadly the whole team to a man decided to have a go at the Kevin Pietersen shot, now this is hard enough for a world class player to attempt and pull off, let alone the batsmen of The Star Cricket Club, so the result was the clatter of stumps was heard on a regular basis last night amid much laughter from the team. Our wicket keeper is a chatter box, but last night he was a tad quiet, he got hit on the knee and one ball slammed into his throat causing some discomfort and the end his constant sledging! he also got stroppy, he was out LBW, it was the most plumb LBW you could wish to see, the whole team agreed except our wicket keeper, poor lad was distraught, what did not help after the game was us finding a childs dummy, someone (I will not name names) persuaded to Young Finch to deliver it to him, Young Finch wandered up to him in front of the whole team and delivered the dummy with the line "this is your, you spat it out when we got you LBW" stunning.... the whole team was in hysterics except out poor wicket keeper.. Its good to see Young Finch doing as his father ask's for a change!
I have been a man on a mission the last few weeks bullying the team to keep the cricket ball polished as it really helps it swing, the lads did well last night with it and I managed to bowl some lovely in-swinging and out-swinging deliveries, and took a few wickets as well.... it all bodes well for the weekend, I am batting at 6 and will be first change bowler, just like Ian Botham!!!
This morning I have woken up with a very bad right side, for a few days my neck has been sore but it is not at all good today, very very sore and I cannot seem to turn my head too much...Sports Massage I think is required.

Its been an interesting weekend! Saturday found me in Bas Vegas at the radio station training my youth! I was offered the opportunity to help with a visit to Hobbycraft but decided my nails needed pulling! The we departed for East London and to Commando Girls home, now this was fun, a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts appeared and we got stuck into them, although I am concerned about Commmando Girl as she did not realise that one filling was Apricot, whereas myself and OOH (Out of Hours) Doris did! We spent the afternoon making thair Glastonbury flag, god help the place with these two nutters approaching! Food was provided and gratefully devoured, and more friends arrived to inspect yours truly! of course I took all this in my stride, no nervous glances at the door from me! Today I have been at Toms, constructing a Exel based scorecard for the Music Quiz at Sittingbourne FC, tickets still available, 7.30pm 27th June starring moi!

This weekend both Commando Girl and Tom have downloaded music from my external hard drive! its good to be popular.

Young Finch arrived home bearing Fathers Day gifts for the old git, he showed particular interest in me opening and consuming my Toblerone, poor lad is most upset I am saving it til he is in bed.........

I learnt something this evening, did you know that Doris was the first wife of Herod, he was on the whole a nice bloke apparently, that is if you ignore the fact he crucified Brian, no sorry I meant some bloke called Jesus. Also Samuel Pepys the well know diarist and writer had a strange pastime, he used to enjoy masturbating quietly in church, well i suppose it passes the time, heaven knows what would happen if he went for it in a noisy manner! Why have I imparted this knowledge? well this evening I have been at Talkback Thames helping develop a new game show called The QI Test, its like QI but with members of the public rather than comedians, and they start of with 12 and whittle it down to one winner, all good fun and to help things go with a swing they gave us a lot of beer! The host is Rufus Hound who was extremely funny, and very good, the show will be going out daytime on BBC so I suspect it will be cleaned up compared with this evening!
My fridge currently has my favourite spanish cheese, which I will enjoy at my leisure!

Evening all, had an ok weekend, Cricket yesterday was cancelled so bang went my 5 wicket haul.... Saturday found me in Bas Vegas with the cutest 11 month old, think he liked me, we went for a stroll round the shopping centre, and I discovered what a babe magnet an 11 month old is, i mentioned this to Doris who did not seem as enthusiastic as me! strange these women, very strange, although Young Finch agreed and was quite taken with him as well, and no I told him he is not having one!!
Spent some time with Dan Sunday teaching him how to play a cover drive (thats cricket ladies) made sure he realised that it was important to show the bowler the makers name on the bat, little rascal is playing the shot well, even managed to sort his grip out!

This evening I was asked to attend a Scout meeting, apparently I am now putting together a podcast for the Scouts! I am bearing in mind the words imparted to me when I joined again, was its only a 2 hour a week thing!!!! My arse.
Tomorrow evening I am off up to town to help develop a new tv game show which is a spin off from QI. I have no idea what will be going on but who cares!