Went to a quiz night last night with some mates, its amazing the crap you store in your brain! although we thought that if we did not know the answer to a literature question JR Hartley was a good answer, we were hopeful that the question would come up who wrote the fly fishing book in the yellow pages ad, shame it never came up. We did not disgrace ourselves, well not on the quiz sheets, but our conversation topics become even more disgusting as the evening wore on, and we have discovered that one member would not take one for the team! most upsetting and a big let down for the New Romney Mountain Rescue Team.... we also would dearly love to see a DVD that was mentioned last night!

The New Romney Mountain Rescue Team will be assembling soon for their annual training trip, and I have it on good authority that they will be going 'home' for the weekend, a trip to New Romney is being planned which will include mountain rescue techniques, kart handling and beer swilling! I think we are going to give extreme ironing a miss this time round, been there done that on Cader Idris, so a new extreme sport is called for, any suggestions let me know!
AT the top is a couple of pics of the New Romney Mountain Rescue Team training hard, young Andy Bitch had mad himself a glass skirt out of smirnoff ice bottles!
Yours in strawberry jam

Well we have arrived home from out weekend in Denmark, the pic is of Aarhus where we stay, the canal runs through the centre of town, and in this pic you can see my favourite watering holes! a few cold ones and some nice food...perfect. We had an eventful weekend, we arrived at Aarhus airport early Friday morning to discover that Dans luggage had not, the suitcase arrived at midnight and was collected by a rather "tired and emotional" me, I had purchased a rather fine whisky in London and taken it out with me, unfortunately Anton and Stinne our hosts had thrown several bottles of fine red wine, brandy and whisky down my neck before we went and collected the case. Saturday was a bit of shopping in town and Saturday evening was a repeat of Friday night, only more wine, Brandy and huge amounts of whisky, I am told i crawled into bed at aroud 4 am! Sunday for some reason was very quiet, I cooked them a full english breakfast then retired to the sofa fpr several hours of eye resting! In the afternoon i tried out the Nintendo Wii which is awesome, spent 2 hours playing tennis against all comers and retired undefeated, more alcohol Sunday and a man flu at 6am this moring for the flight home, which ended with the scariest landing of my life!

Look at that handsome lad in the black, almost as good looking as his old man!!!

We are off to Denmark tomorrow, having to get up at 3am!!! so no posts until Monday night at the least.

Here's some advice for you:Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all
the
things you have started.
So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't
finished;
and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of
Merlot, a bottle of Cardonay , a bole of Baileys, a butle of Kehuha, a
pockage of Tim Toms , tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins,
the
res of the Chesescke, some saltins an a bax a cholates.

Yu haf no idr who gud I fel.
*Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece

Afternoon, just got back from the Valley watching Dan walk out as a mascot for a charity match, boy is he full of it now he has put the ball in the back of the net on the hallowed turf! Well the Charity Single is on sale at the ground tonight and should be online soonish, all proceeds go to Demelza House Childrens Hospice, the total count raised so far for this worthy cause is £13000+ and there are two ways to donate 1. buy the single at www.charltonlife.com 2. you can donate at http://www.justgiving.com/charltonlife and you can hear a preview of the song at http://www.charltonlife.com/blog/?p=125 even i f you are not a Charlton fan please make a donation at the justgiving site, these kids deserve to enjoy what time they have.
Yours in Wogan mode

Well the aches have now spread to the shoulders, hardly surprising considering I bowled!
Heard one of the funniest exchanges on a sports field yesterday, we were toiling away in the field trying to remove two stubborn batsmen, Nicky one of our bowlers bowled a ball that was going down the off side in the corridor of uncertainty, the batsmen a less than mobile gent played and missed it by a mile, our Skipper standing a silly point (very technical jargon this) leapt out shouting howzat!!! cue two batsmen two umpires and 10 fielders staring at disbelief at our skipper "i heard a nick" he said, to whcih the batsmen replied "yes you did the ball hit my wooden leg" cue the team in giggles

Oh sweet jesus, I am in a mess, I forgot what its like to play a days cricket, bowling 10 overs and making a stunning diving catch!!! my knees are stuffed, my back, shoulder, arms, legs ache..... but who cares, the weather was good, and the game was fun, and the beer and food after was excellent, of course we all went through our best moments of the game, although I did keep rather quiet about my first over which went for 12 runs....... and we lost by the way, but who cares?

The big day has arrived, its my first game for The Star, somewhere in darkest Wandsworth! have spent most of the morning looking for some essential kit, knee bandage, without which I am stuffed and my box! bearing in mind my recent medical disaster regarding the christmas crackers I think the box is fairly important, I really dont fancy being carted off on a stretcher clutching the crown jewels again! alhtough the morphine once in A&E was marvellous I dont fancy the surgery again and walking around like a crab...... I fancy myself for a few wickets today and maybe a boundary before I spoon a catch to mid wicket!!!

The last show went well yesterday, we had a good laugh, some twat called George emailed in to ask for more music less football, as it was my last show I let him know on air it was a sports show! I think I was fair with him, there were a few risque gags, Simon nearly wet himself when I played fat bottomed girls with a juicy commment. Jon Mac came on to plug Proud to be an Addick, its very catchy I played it to Simon once in the car and he picked up the chorus in no time! It will be available to download soon on www.charltonlife.com, will let you know more details as soon as I have them, all proceeds go to Demelza House Kids Hospice, so even if your a not a fan dig deep and get a copy!!!

So now I have Saturday afternoons free again, which is great, looking forward to the new radio venture coming soon!

Finale

Well its finally here, the last show on BRFM for me, although we may do the odd late night show as cover, I need to say thanks to a few people, Dave Williams my co presenter who will be taking over, Dave has taken all the stick thrown at him very well and done a cracking job, Simon Emmett, Si another co presenter who has driven me down and come up with some cracking stuff, and was on air with me when we taught the island Mandarin Chinese, John the Leg End Pitts, Sittingbourne's man on the spot, his reporting was always spot on, and he took the grief we gave him well, will miss his banetr, cheers John, Mark Rogers from Sheppey Sunday League, despite being a West Ham fan he was on the blower the night Charlton went down, top man, and Bertie and Sue who have come in and helped out form time to time, and finally my son Dan, bless him he has had to put up with travelling every other Saturday but has helped out on the show, and even got himself on air, thanks to you all!!!
Listen this afternoon we have Mark Rogers live at Wembley, 3 Blokes from F Block and the Herberts with their new charity single, Simon and Dave will be there so dont miss it!
www.brfm.net

Oh dear, a word of warning, if you are ever hosting a radio show, don't
let Simon Emmett anywhere near the playlist!!!
He has come up with this mad idea for the last show to play as many
Cup Final songs as possible, so it seems we will be stuck listening to some Argie singing "in de cup for tottingam"....gawd

Ok I have applied for UAE and have a meeting next week...fingers crossed!!!!
Now my much traveled friend Ginny has told me where I can drink and that the cost of living is low, so thats good advice.

World Premier Saturday

We have spent the evening in a studio recording our latest classic!
Its called Proud to be and addick, and hurls abuse at Crystal Palarse, which is good news in my book, its catchy little tune, and we will have the first play of the song on the show Saturday, which of course is my last show on BRFM, the song will be used to raise money for Delemelza, and John Mc and Mike Westergaard have written and produced it, Mike does this for a living, watch the credits for ITV's The Bill and you will see Mikes name alongside the theme tune, and has done loads of stuff over the years, so its no two bob operation. Simon will join Dave and I in the studio this week, we will be keeping one eye on the Cup Final and playing snippets of crap cup final songs, so join us 4-7pm this Saturday www.brfm.net.
Cheers me dears

I was looking forward to sitting at home this evening, watching some footie and doing bugger all, but it seems my vocal talents are required in a recording studio this very evening. For those of you who do not know me that well, my last venture into the studio to sing was for 3 Blokes From F Block, to record there version of Valley Floyd Road, which of course led to our legendary appearance on the pitch at the Valley for a half time performance, and our live appearance on the stage in the Valley Car Park the year we sent the Palarse down! All good fun, tonight we are recording a new Charlton song, a charity job I hear, I have never heard the song we are singing its all very new but knowing Jon Mc it will be very catchy as usual. Will get some pics and hopefully a rough mix for my last ever BRFM show this Saturday afternoon. I may also remind Jon of the idea we had a few years ago to do a spoof Eurovision Song and have a go at entering..... he he I reckon I would look good in drag!!!
Yours in polyester

Interesting Offers

Well well isnt life interesting, I have been asked if I fancy a years tax free work in United Arab Emirates? Now last night I was not sure, today, well after having a really crap morning I have contacted them and said yes I would like to be considered, the thought of 12 months sunshine has lifted my spirits no end. Trouble is I have never been near the place in my life, so I have no idea what to expect, if anyone has nay clue about the cost of living etc let me know, I have of course checked out the alcohol laws, and can drink in the privacy of my own home!!!

Well there we have it, Serbia win, thanks to the block voting, I really cannot see how a Western European Nation can win again, its a shame, but winners will be from Eastern Europe now. My two tips Sweden and Ukraine had mixed fortunes, Sweden although good did not get the votes and Ukraine came second.

The show was good, Jahn Teigen was his usual self and Nicky Stevens of Brotherhood of Man was very nice.
Off to bed now, night all.

The Voting

Well the voting is one of the highlights of the whole shambles that is Eurovision, some bored University Proffessor with too much time and a fine collection of toe nail clippings has carried out research and announced that there is no political voting.....absolute bollocks my bearded friend, since the damn thing began the voting has been political. Here we present a breakdown of where the votes go politically.

Uk and Ireland usually exchange a flurry of votes, probably they feel some sympathy for the Uk, who seem to be the Milwall of Europe, No one likes us..... The French hate us because we constantly accuse them of being yellow bellied surrender monkeys... The Germans are not keen, Two world wars and one world cup is a constant theme. Our Government is not popular across Europe so hence we get a bad press and precious few votes....so our song has to be top notch to win, so no win this year then.

Now the Viking empire is alive and well, as the voting progress's you will see the Viking influence come to the fore, Denmark, Sweden, Iceland, Finland and Norway like to help each other out.

Greece and Cyrpus do tend to exchange douze points and for some reason ignore Turkey.

These days you will find the Balkan and Warsaw Pact Factor looming large over the contest, the voting here makes it realistic that only former Eastern Bloc countries have any chance of winning this contest, Expect the points to be heavy amongst this lot, and this little bunch will explain why Ukraine, Belarus and Serbia are favourites for this years contest.

So Eurovision is not Political? My arse........

Ps France will never win as long as they insist on singing in French and entering the same old cack every year.

Right here we go eyes down for a long night of musical mayhem! Yes its finally here, The 2007 Eurovision Song Contest from Helsinki, I have just had a look at the odds, and Ukraine's Verka Serduchka with the song Danzing Lasha Tumbai is the 7-2 favourite, now I did say in a post a month ago that I thought Ukraine could nick it if we were not too careful!!! Now let me tell you about Verka Serduchka.... his real name is Andriy Danylko and he is one of Ukraines top comedians, In Ukraine there has been a storm of protest over the song and the fact that Andriy is dressed as a middle aged woman makes it a sight worth seeing!! Great Fun, Thing is its a poop song but just a little catchy.

Scooch are 4-1 to finish last, which will please Dave Williams, who has been forced to play the song due to a freakish amount of requests during his show....not sure how that happened. I dont think that Scooch will win, my personal favourite is Sweden's The Ark and their very 70s sounding The Worrying Kind, again its extremely catchy and the lead singer who, I suspect is a good friend of Dorothy and may even write with a green pen, has great stage presence.

The Semi Finals were held Thursday and one of the hot tips to progress Switzerland failed to qualify for the big final as did Denmark's Drama Queen! crying shame that, the mascara will be running in Copenhagen over this... Israels Teacakes failed to get through as well, not a big surprise there then!

Catch the show on www.brfm.net 4-7pm our first guest is Jahn Teigen, live from Sweden, Spoke to him about an hour ago, and the interview promises to be very interesting, this man is a bit of a character, after 5 we have Nicky Stevens from Brotherhood of Man, she is very friendly and its a good interview! After 6 we will be playing some of the finalists for 2007. There is a couple of quiz's as well, guess the country and guess the year, Bertie and I are really looking forward to the show and it promises to be different!! We finish at 7 which gives me enough time to hurry up to my Eurovision Engagement in South London , which will include a couple of costume changes!
So tune in and enjoy the show, email us any Eurovision requests during the show and we will try and dig the blighters out and play em.
Yours in Eurofever

Kent Earthquake Appeal

A major earthquake measuring 4.8 on the Richter scale hit Kent with its epicenter in Folkestone.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".

The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. Invicta FM reported that hundreds of
residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Folkestone.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning."

Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:

Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Required foodstuffs include:

Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of White Lightning or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.

£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**

Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop. 'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked," CHERITON " said the girl, "woss
that gotta do wiv you?

Having a Laugh

Well I am stunned, Dennis Rommedahl, Charlton's "mercurial" winger has announced he does not want to play in the Championship, seeing as he never bothered in the Premiership I cannot see the issue......

Had a very busy evening, Spoke to the Jahn Teigen, Norways Mr Eurovision, oh dear I see a trip to Oslo looming..... Should be a good show on Saturday so tune in 4-7pm www.brfm.net.

I have been feeling stressed lately, work is difficult at the moment, and I am bringing the stress home, Feng Shui or however you spell it was suggested, but rejected as a load of old shite, so instead a new sofabed thing is in place , the living room has been moved about to create a more relaxed living area (sounds like Feng thingy to me) and some mild redecorating is planned, and amazingly I feel very relaxed in my new look living room, thanks to my special assistant, who dished out advice and Vienetta to follow my Lasgagne. I knew it just needed a ladies touch!

2 shows to go, looking forward to not having to travel on a Saturday, will miss the whole radio thing but my reasons are to be found on previous posts.... Fleet Fm, the new venture is looking good to go, we have a brand new sparkling studio with excellent facilities, so should be live web streaming soon before the big launch later in the year. Its 20 mins from home and easy to get to, so a big plus, oh and I am a Director there as well, so will play my part in decision making!

Taking the boy to the Royal Albert Hall tomorrow nigh to continue to further his musical educations, we are off to see The Waterboys, Horror Boy is looking forward to it and has learnt the words to The Glastonbury Song and The Whole of The Moon as well, I took him to see Tears for Fears a while back, before they came on he pleaded with me not to get up and sing and dance when they came on, so I agreed, on come Roland and Curt, they play the first bars of the opening song and which Finch is on his chair singing, dancing and generally behaving in a manner which was entirely against our agreement? well it was not me!
We are in a box tomorrow (wine, food the lot) so certain standards are expected........

Well there we were 1-0 to Spurs, with 20 mins to go, and on comes Jermaine Defoe, and the choir begin the serenade of our former trainee...Winker Jermaine Defoe they sung with gusto, I sat there thinking please stop motivating him, he will score, and so it came to pass, Jermaine struck in injury time to confirm what we already knew. For all the passion they showed last night there was not enough skill, and where was this passion pre Pardew? A hardy bunch of stayed behind and waited for the team to come out again, they looked distraught and Diawarra was immense, he came up to the East Stand and was shaking hands with the fans, top class in my book. I could see my mate Dave was in the PA box with his head in his hands, poor Dan was in tatters, and when Dave put Let it Be on I nearly lost it... oh well heres to the Championship next season and 6 points off the Palarse!!!!
Yours in defiance
PS can we drop the idea of legal action against West Ham, we got what we deserved.

Well its been a strange day today, We recorded an interview with Nicky Stevens of Brotherhood of Man, which went very well, then just as we finished I got a text telling me someone I knew had died overnight, she had been ravaged by cancer and we knew it was coming, but its still a bit of a shock, but at least her pain is at an end, she has two children one is 12 the other is only 18 months, too young.
Things like this put everything into perspective, spoke to a few friends yesterday about Charlton, all of us are very down about Charlton, but then you get news like this and you realise its only a game and not worth getting too upset over, there are more important things in life. There are two kids who have lost their mum, having lost my Dad before I knew him and my mum in my twenties I know how they must be feeling. So please excuse me tomorrow night if am not too bothered at the end of the game.

Oh Dear

Gawd, Well I never thought for a minute that Fulham would get anything against Liverpool, but of course I forgot to factor in that Rafar Benitez would rest 9 players from their European game, I only hope in the interest of fairness the same team that played today trots out against Charlton a week tomorrow, can't see that happening, West Ham pulled away again with another win, now the question is which Man Utd is going to turn up next week? Wigan, well I think they have lost it completely, so Monday night becomes win or bust.

The show was ok today, the live streaming was bit off putting, prefer the other version myself......
So just two more shows to go, looks like I have lift down there for my last few shows, I am fed up with a 5 hour round trip and 6 trains there and back... Cannot wait to have my Saturdays back!

Oh dear, I have just visited www.brfm.net, and we have a new webcam, and it broadcasts live moving images!!! God I need make up for radio now! Oh dear this means that people can see exactly what we eat during the show (none of it healthy) what we drink (again none healthy) and no more feet on the desk for me! Still at least it will show Dave Williams diet to the world, which to me seems to involve chocolate, the sod has no fat on him, I just look at a lump of chocolate and theres a Kilo on..... Tomorrows show will have all the usual stuff, plus with Sittingbournes season at an end there is no game for John 'the legend' Pitts to report on, so he is coming to the studio! Will probably be my last time doing anything on the radio with John, which is a shame, over the past 4 years or so I have enjoyed my banter with the legend, and he has taken it all very well.

Right best get on with some work, the bacon and egg buttie was gorgeous and the cappacinio added to it.......

TTFN

Well Summer is here, how do I know this, because for the first time we played outdoors! Was very good to get out of the indoor nets, it gets a bit claustrophobic indoors, so the was good to get onto the pitch at Avery Hill, the problem is at £70 a go its not cheap, and correct me of I am wrong £70 is a fair old whack and you would expect a decent wicket and half decent outfield, but the outfield was riddled with potholes and a little bit dodgy in places. Still there was plenty of banter flying around, especially from the white clad figure at first slip who has a passing resemblance to me, I managed to bowl at a very decent speed with some chin music flying around! best not talk about the batting!

The Fat Lady is Warming Up

Ok its not over until the fat lady sings, well she has well and truly finished her warm up and is taking a deep breath for the opening bars........
Yes this Monday Bank Holiday is shit or bust time for Alan Pardews mighty Red Army, I have been having a good old gander at the fixtures, and I have come to this conclusion....we are fuc...... no wait! Wigan and Fulham are in freefall, West Ham have some tough games looming, Bolton and Man U to be precise, so I reckon 4 points or even 3 points could see us safe.... so next Monday (and sorry for upsetting anyone in the Leyton area) we can sort those namby pamby silky skillled bottlers Spurs out at the Valley... no worries, so thats 3 points, then finally we face Liverpool at Anfield on the last day needing a point, and lo and behold Liverpool are in the European Cup Final having seen off the Jose and his pots of cash at Anfield, so they rest 50% of the 1st XI and wham bam 3 points for Charlton man alive.....Safety!!!!!
Having got that off my chest after taking advice from a certain female of the species I will see out my last 3 shows with BRFM and leave with my head held high!!! So as a result of this decision I have got to phone Nicky Stevens, who she I hear you ask? Nicky is one quarter of Brotherhood of Man, and we will be recording an interview with her this weekend for broadcast on May 12th, I also have to ring Cheryl Baker of Bucks Fizz to arrange her interview as well! its all go for us name droppers.
Yours with starz in his eyes