Generally I hate the warnings that get sent around, but I must admit this one is really important.
If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your bum, do NOT show him your bum.
This is a scam - he only wants to see your bum.
I wish I had got this yesterday. I feel so stupid and cheap!!

I am a patient type of bloke, normally, but something happens when I go into Woolwich, I am convinced it is not me its them!
I was walking towards Sainsbury's to pick up some Mozzerella Cheese (not the buffalo stuff thats got a food scare), ahead of me was a lady with a pushchair who suddenly stopped, without warning, causing me to bump into her, now she turned around and had a moan at me, bearing in mind I restrained myself and said I was sorry but that she had just stopped dead in her tracks, this was not good enough for my new found friend, so she continued to rant at me, I decided to move on, and noticed the pram was empty! so the gloves were off, and I let the hapless one have both barrels. Now a worry comes into my mind, where the hell is the child?

Eating just one sausage or around three rashers of bacon a day can increase the risk of developing bowel cancer by a fifth, an expert has warned.
Cancer fears over processed meat.
Just 50g of processed meat daily increases the chances of getting bowel cancer by around 20%.

This is from Sky News, I am getting a bit fed up with all these food scares we have, if its not sausages, its eggs, this just seems to be scare mongering, my Aunt and Uncle are in their 80s and my Aunt cooks some of the most wonderful food, but according to various studies over the years she should be dead. I am a stubborn old bastard at times, during the beef scare I eat more beef, during Edwina Curries assault on eggs I had one every day.

In this day and age we are constantly being bombarded with this type of information, various studies contradicting each other, scientists funded by organisations and companies with a vested interest, have to justify the cash spent on their employment, and the press jump on anything that could get a few cheap headlines. All this adds up to a very molly coddled society.

Children today have nowhere near the adventurous fun that I certainly used to, Councils are scared to build decent play area in case little johnny has an accident and sues them, as a Scout in my younger days we got up to some amazing high jinx, building aerial runways across a waterfall is something we did with no incident at all, not something I have seen for years. We also used to play great games, bulldog was a popular one, its banned now of course, in all the years I played it we had very few injuries, Kids love a bit of rough and tumble now and then, but they cannot because we have gone soft!

Right thats my rant over with for the day I am off for Sausage, Bacon and Eggs..........

Being a Charlton fan of many years suffering I have become accustomed to disappointment , but this season it has been hard to swallow, I accepted last season as 3 managers in 12 months is a sure fire recipe for relegation in the Premier League. This season started with lots of hope that we could push for promotion, Lots of new players were signed by Pardew, so it was understood that they would take time to settle into life at Charlton, come the transfer window we needed to be careful who was signed, what was glaringly obvious us that our defence was awful. Its blindingly obvious that a good team is built on a strong defence, so come January I was hoping that Pardew would tighten up that area, but no he signed 30 year old Andy Gray, who likes as likely to score s I do to appear live on stage with Queen! we wasted several million pounds on him, surely the money would be better spent on our shoddy defence. You have to question Pardews judgement when he signs McCleod, and Gray. Our midfield is crying out for a big strong bruiser, Holland is a good player, but I am not 100% sure about Semedo. As for Nicky Weaver in goal, I groaned when I heard we had signed him, man alive he took some fearful stick when he played against us for Man City, based on the fact the entire stadium had worked out he was crap.
So no play offs for us this season, and unless radical surgery pon our defence is carried out next year will also be the same, and then the Sky money runs out......
Still I see Newcastle did well today.

Marriage - My thoughts

Til Death do us part - its not a commitment, its a goal

Some bugger nicked an hour of my sleep last night! Tried getting to bed early by Sky Movies ruined that, sat up in bed and watched Memphis Belle, very good movie. We had the twins (Godsons) over last night, so Dan decided that they would all sleep in the living room, most upsetting, I have just managed to set the Sky Plus up to go through the surround sound. The noisy bunch of herbert's were in a loud mood, so in search of a calmer evening I retreated to my bedroom with my Pringles. THe boys had to be up at 7.30 this morning to be fed and ready to go and play football, so in actual fact I was up at 6.30am!! not amused with that on a Sunday.

Dan is out and about this afternoon, so I have found a packet of Chocolate Hob Nobs and have worked out they taste better than the dinner I had planned.

Just to show it was padding!

Cricket was hard going last night, young Finch took my wicket again! cue the usual war dance from the little sod and titters from the rest of the team, I think the titters were of relief as he had not bowled them, its very nerve wracking when you get your pads on wander into your net and little Finch decides to change to your net.... Our skipper also got me out, which was a signal to stop the Botham like slogging and turn into Geoff Boycott, once the wickets had fallen I played defensive and looked bloody impressive, only problem is I now have two very sore knees, the right is usually the one that gives me problems, well thats very tender, but for the first time my left knee is sore... I will have to get myself a massage, that always seems to help. I cannot help thinking that the walk om Saturday did not help! I bowled ok as well, took a few wickets, one of our youngsters Sam was in a particularly blood thirsty mood and was sending down some horrible chin music, would have rather faced him than Dan if I am honest.

Took a walk up some mountain in Wales today, Christ alive it was hard going, very steep on the way up, and then at the top you are hit by the most ferocious wind which was freezing, it was so cold our faces became numb, and then during a very steep descent it snowed!
Hours of fun!

Things will be a little quiet on the blog front this weekend, We are off scaling Welsh Mountains and throwing things at the people below, purely for sport you understand.
Have a good weekend, try not to eat as much chocolate as Dan will!

Portsmouth Sinfonia - Right notes, not necessarily in the right order!

This is Dan today with Charlton legend Mark Kinsella at Charlton's training ground, Mark Kinsella was great with Dan and we got to meet all the players, Dan is over the moon!

Regular readers will be aware of my campaign to get James Allen off of ITV, well I have now had a change of heart, offer the man a 5 year deal on loads of cash, set him up for life! Of course this has absolutely nothing to do with BBC winning the rights to screen Grand Prix from 2009........ honest guv.

Have your cake and eat it

Now and again something catches my eye and gets me going, Cardiff City have managed that big time... Now Cardiff City are in the English FA Cup Semi - Final in a few weeks, if they go on and win the English FA Cup as part of their agreement with the Football Association they cannot claim a place in Europe as they are not English, an agreement they went along with, obviously in the days when they had absolutely no chance of winning a bean, let alone the FA Cup! Are you with me so far? well it turns out that they now think they would rather like to go into Europe if they win so very quietly they have asked the FA to reconsider this ruling. Michel Platini the President of UEFA (a Frenchman) agrees they should be allowed to participate as English representatives, all well and good so far, there is a little fly in the ointment as far as I am concerned, yes the agreement can be repealed, but my issue is this, in 2003 they were in the Play - off final against QPR, it is traditional that at the final the teams line up for the National Anthem, as it is an English competition. Cardiff City protested on the basis they were Welsh and to line up for God Save The Queen would be an insult to them as they were Welsh! They asked for the Welsh Anthem to be sung for them instead, the League quite rightly insisted that it was the National Anthem, or nothing, Cardiff said they could not be responsible for how their fans behaved during the Anthem of not just England but United Kingdom, so the teams lined up and Club songs were played, Cardiff's just happened to be Men of Harlech!
Now here we are are in 2008 and suddenly Cardiff who objected to being English in 2003, are now more than happy to go into Europe as an English team. I wonder how much they would stand to earn in Europe?
Sounds like a flag of convenience to me....

Spread your lurrrve 85!

Just found these pics in my albums, shows I was fit at one stage, One is on a ferry heading for Corfu (an eventful stay!) and the other is me on a ferry in Istanbul.

I saw Heather Mills McCartney on TV last night celebrating her 'windfall' apparently she is delighted to have secured the future of their daughter Beatrice, now I do not believe for one minute that Sir Paul would have ever left his daughter in need of anything, and whilst Sir Paul has been very dignified and remained silent during what is ultimately a private matter, she played the press like a pro, and making herself look like the gold digger some papers claim she was. She also announced herself "delighted" to have been awarded in total £24 million, yet the Times are reporting that she threw a glass of water over Sir Paul's Lawyer on the way out yesterday, considering she was after around £125 million it demonstrates she was obviously not delighted!
Apparently she is appealing part of the judgement, I will be glad when this is all over, her appearance on the court steps yesterday showed her for what she really is.
Glad thats off my chest!

I have spent all morning in the loo.... nothing wrong with my lower regions, just had to finish the decorating in there, a bit of gloss work was done, and get the flooring down later today and hey presto a new crap house! Next on the list is the bathroom which will involve a bit of tiling, which if I do say so myself I am not bad at, so that should be a giggle.

Cricket was good last night, England seem to have the upper hand over the Kiwi's, hopefully the abuse I have suffered from Kiwi's in the past week will now subside, only down side is I realise how dull Sky's Bob Willis is, but I can tolerate Bob (unlike Nassar 'just for men' Hsussain) as he was a major part in helping God (Ian Botham) beat the Aussies in 1981, so keep on being dull Bob. On the subject of God, Ian Botham is one of my sporting heroes, played cricket the way it should be played and enjoyed to the full his off the field antics! Dan is fully aware who Ian Botham is, I have made damn sure of that, the poor lad has seen just about every DVD there is with the great man. Poor Dan is also fully aware of mine and my brother John's favourite Charlton player, Derek 'Killer' Hales, the man is a legend at the Valley, the ultimate goalscoring machine, and woe betide anyone who stops him, rather famously he was sent off for having fight with Mike Flanagan, nothing unusual there I here you say, well when he is your team mate it is highly unusual! Killer was annoyed that Flanagan had not passed to him, so he chinned him, we are off to Wales to stay at the Finch hotel over Easter and Dan's uncle is going to show Dan a video of Killer in action, scoring goals that is, rather than decking team mates.

Now the Formula 1 Season is about to begin, the first race is on Sunday morning at 4am, and I have a house full round for our usual bacon butties, maltesers and pringles, my usual Grand Prix watchers, Tom (nephew of the green pen) Lee (ferrari nutter) will be here sadly Dan will be at his mothers so there will be more bacon and chocolate for us,the downside is my niece has indicated she may join us, she has absolutley no interest in F1 just the bacon.....

All of us are taking part in a Fantasy F1 league, the season before last Daniel somehow won the damn thing, most annoying, the F1 Fantasy is run at www.junction34.com, which is worth a look! It is good to see that the cars this year dont have traction control, what i know about driving is limited, but I do know that without it cars tend to slide and twitch a bit, which should make for some juicy crashes! Am I alone in feeling a bit strange about Lewis Hamilton? he is too perfect, too nice, I reckon in his spare time he is a porn freak surfing the internet for his kicks!!!! or he has an unnatural love of PVC....

The second test (thats cricket to you rugby types) has begun in New Zealand, I was dreading it after our turgid display in the first game, regular readers of this waffle will be aware there are 3 people on TV I despise, James Allen (Formula 1 Commentator) Timmy Mallett (all round wanker) and Sky's own Nassar Hussain, so at 9pm last night I tuned in to watch the build up to the game, and to my deep and eternal joy it was announced that Nassar Hussain was not commentating on this game! cue Old Finch dancing round the rooom in joy and waking up young Finch in the process, this bubble of joy was pricked by David Gower very quickly he pointed that Nassar would be back for the last game...bollocks.... Watching the first game I noticed Nassars hair was extremely black, in fact un-naturally black, so I did a google search and came across some images of the Nassar with grey hairs. Now let me say straight away I have grey hairs, and quiet a few of them, but I have never ever considered Just for Men or any other such products (my hair dyeing days are best left in the past) the reason I would not? simple, all my friends know I am greying slightly, and all my friends would know I had used a certain product, and would slaughter me without mercy, and quite rightly too, so what makes a man do this in the knowledge that the millions watching will notice??? god knows but he deserves all the stick he is going to get......

What is the Tube coming too?

I have just heard that sanity seems to have prevailed at last in the Courts of our land, some failed gambler sued William Hill Bookmakers for allowing him to gamble away a large sum of money, had this loser won the doors would be open to all sorts of bizarre claims, I for one would be after Fosters for allowing me to get so drunk I woke up with an absolute beast in Sidcup many years ago, I would not say she was ugly but if she bit into a lemon, the lemon would pull a face...

The Budget

I have no idea what the hell is in the budget today, the reason? simple, how can you take anyone seriously called Darling? my mind keeps wandering to Capt Darling in Blackadder....... I can just picture the scene in Downing Street, with Gordon Brown asking "whats the budget like Darling"? it just sounds wrong.......

Storm update

I have just heard that in South Wales and South West England there has been some damage caused by the storm, even more reason for me to head down there and get me a boat!

The Big Storm

Now I recall in 1987 Michael Fish said that there would not be a hurricane, and overnight the biggest storm in my lifetime hit causing untold damage across the country, move forwards to 2008 and all weekend we have been bracing ourselves for the big storm mark 2, and so far what a disappointment it has been, a strong breeze and a few leaves! now I have a theory, in 1987 they got it wrong in a rather large way, so they have seen the forecast for this week and have decided to cover their collective arses (technical phrase) and have given us all dire warnings that this storm would be huge. The question is are they right or wrong? me? I have no idea, but I know one thing, I would love to be out in a rather large yacht when it is blowing a hooligan (another technical phrase for you East London types), sounds like my idea of fun!

Friday found me in Stratford, East London, pie and mash country, now I have been around a bit, but Stratford is a different world, I really had no idea that such a place existed, I am convinced I saw several men wandering around with their knuckles dragging behind them, and the women.....chav is polite, I am struggling to understand why the Olympics are being held there, surely somewhere else would be suitable?

Had a brainwave yesterday whilst watching Pimp my Ride on MTV, a new show, Pimp my Bride, hosted by Dale Winton (to ensure the host does not run off with the pimped bride) the idea of Pimp my Ride is they take an old banger and rip it apart and rebuild it with all the bells and whistles you want, now Pimp my Bride is the same principle, the husband to be can have his future nearest and dearest taken away before the wedding, a team of experts can totally transform the old banger into a fit looking bride, now what man would say no......... I think it as a goer.....

Young Finch in action!

Well here it is young Finch in full flow at net practice last night, little rascal was hitting them everywhere and he threw in a few reverse sweeps to upset our bowlers! He took a couple of hits this evening but carried on regardless and the little horror managed a few wickets, luckily for him not mine!

How to deal with a streaker - The Aussie way

As promised earlier, wait and see the close up of Symonds dealng with streaker

I have just seen an amazing incident whilst watching Australia vs India, a streaker came steaming onto the pitch and headed towards Andrew Symonds at speed just as he got to the Aussie batsmen it looks like Symonds clothes lined him! as tunning way to stop a streaker! will try and post the You Tube video asap

Just back from Sheffield having at last seen Charlton win away! Dan and Anthony seemed to enjoy themselves, they learnt a few new songs, Charlton played well and Sam Sodje went a bit mad at the final whistle.

Just got in to see Eurovision Song Selection, man alive we have lost again!!!