I promised a few weeks ago I would have a butchers at this years crap, sorry crop of entries for Eurovision, well I woke up rather early this morning and decided to take the bull by the horns, and I really wish I had not bothered, what a turgid pile of old tripe.... I have sat through god knows how many warbling twats dressed in god knows what singing the same old shite with the same old beat...last years Serbian winner was a slow wrist slashing number and the obviously thought why change a winning formula? because this years entry is enough to make you do a Fred West and string yourself up, Sweden whose song last year was pretty good have gone back in time, 9 years ago Charlotte Nillsen won with a a really good song, well she is back with a new surname and some expensive facial work and a crap song...... Last Year Ukraine had the ridiculous Verka Seducjka, a man dressed as a middle aged woman, very cathchy, this year they have a real woman who has all the right bits in the right places, sadly the song sucks..
Looking at the odds Russia are favourites at the moment, heaven knows why its a pile of old shite... Armenia is hotly fancied, although I suspect the fact the singer is stunning and is bound to get most of her kit off is coincidental. Latvia seems a giggle its 3 blokes dressed as pirates, singing "Wolves of the sea" its a bit of a sing a long in a gang show type of way, I can see Terry Wogan having a lot of fun at their expense. Finland have gone down the Hard Rock route, and their entry is seriously loud!
As for Andy Abraham (think they really wanted Father Abraham and the Smurfs), to win for the UK you have to have an exceptional song, a really exceptional song to get the Eastern Bloc vote, Andy has failed its a rancid pile of old poo pants that stands a good chance of nil points.... I have decided to play the Eurovision drinking game on the night, that way the alcohol will numb the pain of watching these pathetic bunch of losers, and look forward to the usual unfathomable round of voting whilst Terry Wogan gets increasingly pissed and laughs at the old pals act voting......

I have just seen on BBC that Sir Stiff Pilchard was cheated out of the 1968 contest by the Spanish Dictatorship, apparently they rigged the voting..... this is news? its been rigged for years....muppets...
Right I have suffered enough for one morning so I am going to pull my toe nails out with a pair of tweezers......

I have posted Guildo Horn from a few years ago, the bloke failed to win but caused panic when climbing the set which was clearly not designed for the task! Enjoy